


Recovery

by WindInYourSail



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barba can’t prosecute so McCoy does, Confessing feeling, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mostly Fluff, Rape Recovery, Slow Burn, trial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:18:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindInYourSail/pseuds/WindInYourSail
Summary: Hattie Stevens has been working as a victim advocate with Manhattan SVU for two years, denying her feelings for a certain ADA for nearly as long. When the guy she’s seeing takes her from victim advocate to victim she’ll have to rely on those closest to her to find herself again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m going to apologize in advance if it takes me a while to add to this. I have family visiting so my time to write will be limited. I do have another chapter finished waiting to be edited so hopefully I can get that up soon.

“That case was brutal.” Carisi said as he plopped down in a wooden chair, after grabbing a beer at the bar. “It was always a long shot.” Barba replied, barely looking up from his scotch. They had just lost a case where Emily, a young women in her early twenties, had been repeatedly raped over a year by her boss. It was a he said she said case with little evidence to back up the victim and considering the abused had gone on so long the defense convinced the jury they had been in a secret relationship and Emily a scorned ex. 

“Where’s Hattie?” Rollins asked, looking around the table. “She’ll be here soon, she wanted to talked to Emily and give her some information on counseling.” Liv answered. “We should move on to a happier topic before she gets here. As a victim advocate she gets close to these cases in ways we don’t and she and Emily seemed to bond more than most. This is going to be a tough loss for her.” Fin suggested. Barba brought his scotch toward his lips, looking around the table at the others. “Fin’s right.”

Barba watched Hattie as she entered the dark bar, backlit by the brightness from the late afternoon cascading around her as she walked through the door. She was wearing an orange dress with a high neck, cap sleeves, an a-line skirt and a pair of tan heels. Her thick, long, chestnut brown hair was styled in soft curls framing her from the waist up. The bartender started making her martini when he noticed her, so she waited patiently at the bar. “Thanks Steve.” Hattie said as she took her drink and headed to join the others.

“Hey guys.” Hattie said, taking the empty seat between Barba and Carisi. “Are we going back to the precinct after this or can my weekend officially start now?” Hattie asked Liv before taking a sip of her martini. “We need to finish up some paperwork but you don’t need to be there for that.” Liv smiled. “Thanks.” Hattie said before she downed her drink. “You alright Hattie?” Carisi asked as the rest of the table gave her a curious look. “Yeah. Just a rough day you know.” She responded before heading to the bar for another martini.

The group talked about Jessie and Noah, Carisi’s nephew, old cases, pretty much anything but the case they had lost earlier that day. Hattie continued to drink faster than was typical for her, causing her to be pretty drunk by the time five thirty rolled around and the SVU detectives decided it was time to head back to finish up paperwork. “Boo. Everybody’s leaving?” Hattie pouted as the return to the precinct was discussed. “I think you’ve had plenty Hattie. We’ll grab a cab for you.” Liv said softly. Hattie may have been drunk but the alcohol had seemed to make her happy and bubbly which was a great relief since everyone thought the opposite would happen. “I’ll get her home, I’ve already called my car service.” Barba said. “My hero.” Hattie said giving Barba her best drunken damsel in distress pose she could without falling out of her chair. “Just don’t puke in the car or Carl will never forgive me.” Barba smirked as he help Hattie out of the bar.

“What's your address?” Barba asked once they were seated in the back of the town car. Hattie mumbled it off to him. “Got that Carl?” Barba asked his driver. “Yes sir, Mr. Barba.” Carl responded as he started to drive toward Hattie’s apartment. Hattie leaned into Barba’s side slightly and rested her head back on the seat. “This case sucked. Just sucked you know. I mean I knew we were probably going to loose. That it was a long shot… but it just really, really, sucked.” Hattie slurred. “Yes it did.” Barba agreed. “I don’t want to become sad.” Hattie sighed. “Let’s not talk about the case then.” Barba suggested. “Ok.” Hattie smiled. “Does ADA Rafael Barba have a girlfriend?” Barba rolled his eyes. “No. Why?” “You’re a handsome man, Barba. It’s not a crazy idea that you might be seeing someone.” Hattie slurred while gazing out the window. Barba smiled and shook his head. “My schedule and my shortness seem to hamper me in that department.” “You're not short.” Hattie was looking directly at Barba and he could see that in her inebriated state she had missed his meaning of shortness. “Not short in height, in patience. I tend to be short, abrupt with people. Apparently that gets old after a while.” He clarified. “What kind of girls have you been dating?” Hattie smirked before continuing. “That’s one of my favorite things about you.” “Really?” Barba asked as they stopped in front of Hattie’s building. He got out and helped Hattie to her feet. “Do you need help getting to your apartment?” He asked. “I think I’m good.” Hattie smiled and headed towards the door to her building. Barba caught her when she started to fall. Her five foot four frame fit comfortably in his arms even with her in heels. “I’ll help you to your door.” “Thanks.” Hattie replied once she steadied herself.

“What floor do you live on?” Barba asked as they started up the fifth set of stairs. “The seventh.” She replied. “The landlord not believe in elevators?” He said sarcastically. “It’s not that bad. Besides, it makes my ass look great.” Hattie smirked as they climbed the last set of stairs. Barba thought of a few responses but decided it'd be best to say nothing. “This is me.” Hattie said as they reached her door. Barba waited as she fumbled to find her keys. He picked them up when she dropped them. “Which key is it?” He asked. “This one.” She said pointing to her house key and leaning against the wall for support as Barba unlocked her door. 

“What the hell, Hattie?” Came an irritated voice from the direction of the stairs. “Who the hell is this?” The voice belonged to a man that at six four, towered over both her and the ADA. “Relax Adam. I had a bad day, a little too much to drink, and Barba was nice enough to make sure I got home ok.” Hattie said as she rested her head against the wall. “So you’re the lawyer she works with all the time. It’s nice to actually put a face with a name.” Adam said holding out his hand for Barba to shake. Barba furrowed his brow briefly at how quickly Adam’s demeanor changed. “This is my boyfriend, Adam.” Hattie said as Barba reached out to shake Adams hand. “Nice to meet you.” Barba said. “You too.” Adam said. “You got her from here?” Barba asked, handing Adam Hattie’s keys. “Yeah. Thanks for getting her home safely.” Adam replied. “No problem.” Barba said as he began to head back toward the stairs. “Thanks again Barba.” Hattie said as Adam wrapped his arm around her to help her in her apartment. Barba smiled and nodded at her but she thought she noticed some sadness in his eyes.

“So were you going to bring the lawyer in?” Adam asked as he dropped Hattie on her couch. “No. He was going back to his office to finish up some work.” Hattie sighed and kicked off her shoes. “Sure.” Adam said sitting next to her on the couch. “Adam, I’ve had a shitty day, if you're just going to make it worse you can leave.” Hattie was sobering up slightly and a headache was forming. The last thing she wanted to do was argue. “I’m sorry. I just get jealous sometimes. I don’t want to leave, I haven’t seen you in weeks.” Adam moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. “Whose fault is that?” Hattie huffed. “I said I was sorry.” Adam said pulling Hattie closer. “I know but you could come around more often, hell, answer your phone more often.” Hattie sighed leaning into him. “You're right. I can swing by your work and take you to lunch next week sometime, if you want.” Adam said kissing Hattie's neck. “I’d like that.” Hattie giggled as he tickled her.

——

“Can I help you?” Carisi asked the ruggedly handsome man that had entered the bullpen. “I’m looking for Hattie.” The man replied. “She’s in interview right now. I can take a message or you can wait for her at her desk. She shouldn’t be much longer.” Carisi pointed to Hattie's desk. “I’ll wait.” He said and sat in a chair across from her desk. Barba, Fin, and Rollins exited interrogation and joined Carisi. “Whose that?” Rollins asked gesturing to the man sitting at Hattie's desk. “No idea.” Carisi replied. “It’s Hattie’s boyfriend, Adam.” Barba stated as he flipped through some information on the case they had picked up over the weekend. “Hattie has a boyfriend?” Rollins whispered. Barba looked up from the case file. “I figured you guys knew. I met him when I took her home Friday. She never mentioned him?” “Never.” Carisi said. “Do they live together?” Rollins asked. “I don’t know. He got to her apartment as she was fumbling with her keys.” Barba huffed, returning to the case file. “Something more on your mind counselor?” Fin asked, giving him a curious look. “No.” Barba sighed. Rollins, Carisi, and Fin looked like they were holding back a chuckle. Barba noticed so he elaborated. “I got a bad vibe from him. He was angry when he approached us at her door but calmed almost immediately when she introduced us.” “I’d be jealous too if Hattie were my girlfriend and I found her at her door with another man.” Carisi said. “It just seemed...” Barba paused for a moment, “superficial.” Rollins glanced at the man looking at Barba from Hattie’s desk. “Sometimes you gotta trust your gut.” 

Hattie, Liv, and Sarah, the latest victim, exited the interview room. “If you need to talk, about anything, give me a call.” Hattie said handing Sarah her card. “I will.” Sarah nodded before turning to leave. Hattie looked up to see Adam sitting at her desk. “Liv is it ok if I take lunch?” She gestured toward Adam. “Go ahead.” Liv smiled. Adam stood as Hattie approached and gave her a hug. “Is now a good time?” He asked. “Yeah. Let me grab my purse.” “Aren’t you going to introduce us Hattie?” Fin shouted from across the bullpen as Hattie retrieved her purse from her locker. Hattie rolled her eyes and dragged Adam toward the group that had gathered around Carisi’s desk. “This is Adam, my boyfriend. Adam this is Fin, Rollins, Carisi, Liv, and you know Barba.” Hattie gave Fin an annoyed look and then dragged Adam after her toward the elevator.

“That was rude Hattie.” Adam said once the elevator started to move. “What are you ashamed of me?” “No. It’s not that. I just know that look on Fin’s face. He was going to try to tease me or something and I’d prefer to not give him the opportunity.” Hattie smirked. “Is that Barba guy always around?” Adam asked. “Not always but he is around a lot. Sex crimes tend to take a lot of cooperation between the detectives and the DA’s office. There not easy cases to win.” Hattie replied. “How do you mean?” Adam asked as they exited the building. “Well, what other crime does the victim have to convince a jury that she didn’t want what happened to her.” Hattie said. “I guess you have a point.” Adam said.

Hattie and Adam had a short lunch at a Deli not far from the precinct. When she returned everyone including Barba were still waiting for the the suspect they had in custodies lawyer to arrive. Rollins noticed her enter the bullpen and approached her with a goofy grin on her face. “So… how come you never mentioned this boyfriend of yours?” The rest of the groups ears perked up at her question. Hattie rolled her eyes as she realized that she was about to be bombarded with nosy questions, at least until the defense attorney arrived. “To avoid this moment.” Barba smirked at her response. “Oh come on. You gotta tell us now.” Rollins said as she followed Hattie to join the others. “What do you want to know?” Hattie asked. “How long have you been dating?” Rollins asked. “Not that long, three months maybe. We’re still getting to know each other. We only discussed the boyfriend, girlfriend thing a couple weeks ago. I was hesitant to label anything cause I really don’t see him that often.” Hattie replied. “Our work can hinder relationships, huh?” Fin said. “Yeah, but its not me. It’s him. He’s a writer and a bit of a recluse and tends to not be so great at returning phone calls or remembering to leave his apartment when he’s caught up in his work.” Hattie sighed. “Have you talked with him about it?” Carisi asked. “Yeah. He said he’d make an effort to get out of his head so we’ll see.” Hattie said. 

Adam did as promised and made an effort to spend more time with Hattie but the more time she spent with him the more she noticed his jealous side and his jealousy seemed to always revolve around Barba. When the group would go out for drinks after work, the evening would often end with her and Barba being the last two remaining and he would always offer her a ride home. Adam was convinced that Barba had a thing for Hattie and he wasn’t completely convinced that she didn’t have feelings for Barba. “Did you get drinks with Barba tonight?” Adam asked as he walked into her apartment late Friday evening. “I don’t get drinks with Barba. We go out as a group. But no, we didn’t go out tonight.” Hattie replied. “Sure.” Adam huffed as he sat down on her couch. Hattie was getting annoyed with Adams constant jealousy. “If you are going to be like this all night, you can go home.” Hattie snapped. “Fine.” Adam barked back as he stormed out of her apartment.

Hattie didn’t understand Adams obsession that something was going on between her and Barba. Sure she found Barba attractive and she did enjoy spending time with him but Barba had never given her any indication that he felt anything for her. She always felt that the feelings she had for Barba would always be an unrequited middle school type crush due to him being close to ten years her senior so she had pushed the feelings aside and ignored them. As Hattie sat and fumed about how ridiculous Adam had been in the three weeks since he ran into Barba dropping her off at her apartment, she decided to end things with Adam. They hadn’t been dating that long and she couldn’t believe how he was acting. The longer she sat on her couch, the more she felt the urge to talk to someone. She needed to vent. Barba had become one of the people she could talk to easily so she decided to text him to see if he was up for a drink.

They met at the same bar the group always drank at and grabbed a booth towards the back. “I thought you were hanging out with Adam tonight?” Barba asked after the waitress took their drink orders. “I was but he’s driving me nuts with his stupid jealousy issues. I told him to leave. I’m going to break up with him. I mean we’ve only been dating maybe four months now and he’s turning into this jealous possessive guy. It’s not healthy.” Hattie blurted. She smiled and thanked the waitress as she sat down their drinks. “What is he jealous of?” Barba asked, taking a sip of his scotch. Hattie laughed softly under her breath before responding. “You.” Barba choked slightly on his scotch and looked at her. “Me?” Hattie smiled. “Yeah, he thinks you’ve got a thing for me and that I have a thing for you.” Barba pinched his lips together and looked down slightly and sighed before responding. “Well, he’s not wrong… at least not about me.” “Really?” Hattie said looking at Barba. “Really.” Barba affirmed. “He’s not wrong about me either. I just didn’t think you’d be interested in me.” Hattie smiled. Barba smirked at Hattie. “You're definitely breaking up with him?” “I am.” Hattie replied. “Do it before next Friday and I’ll take you out.” Barba smiled with his eyes and Hattie was half tempted to call Adam right then and there.

Barba dropped Hattie off at her apartment but didn’t walk her to her door. He squeezed her hand slightly before she exited his car. “Call me after you talk to Adam.” “I will.” She smiled scooting out of the car. Once inside her apartment, she kicked off her heels and plopped down on her couch. She was dreading breaking up with Adam but she still couldn’t stop the smile that kept spreading across her face. She was happily thinking about her conversation with Barba when there was a buzz indicating that someone wanted in the building. “Yes.” She said into the intercom. “Hattie, it’s me Adam. I wanted to apologize. Can I come up?” She sighed to herself thinking that now was as good a time as any to end things. She didn’t respond, just pressed the button allowing the building door to be opened from the outside.

A few minutes later she heard a knock at her door. “Hey Adam.” She said opening the door to let him in. “You sent me home so you could go out with Barba!” Adam stated angrily as he pushed passed her into her apartment. “What happened to wanting to apologize?” Hattie said as she closed the door behind him. “I followed you…” Adam started but Hattie interrupted him. “You followed me? Seriously? I’m done with your crazy jealous, possessiveness. I want you to leave and I don’t want to ever see you again.” Hattie said as she walked toward the door to open it for him. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam said causing Hattie to turn around before she reached the door. “Excuse me?” She glared, completely taken aback by his response. 

Before she had a chance to processed what was happening Adam moved toward her and backhanded her across the face. Hattie's face throbbed as she fell backwards against her front door. Adam pulled her up by her hair and pushed her against the back of her couch. “I sat across the bar from you tonight and watched you and Barba sit and flirt with each other.” He pulled her shirt up over her head letting her arms trap themselves in the material as she struggled to stop him. “You continuously denied there was something between you two but after watching you tonight I know I was right.” Adam removed his belt and hit her across the back with it. Hattie screamed out as he continued to hit her with his belt. She finally freed her arms from her shirt, dropping it on the couch, and not being able to take the pain on her back anymore, she flipped herself over causing the last swipe of Adams belt to strike her across her stomach. Adam stopped hitting her, allowing her the opportunity to stand up. “Please Adam. Nothing happened between Barba and me.” Her only goal at the moment was to calm him enough to get him to leave. But instead he grabbed her neck lifting her off the ground and carried her back to her bedroom. She coughed and gasped for air when he tossed her on her bed. “I don’t believe you.” Adam said as he leaned down and grabbed her wrist. “Please Adam. Stop.” Hattie pleaded but Adam ignored her and started wrapping his belt around her wrist. She struggle to stop him but she was no match for his strength and in no time he had her wrist bound and the belt fastened to her headboard. 

Adam flipped her over, twisting the belt tighter around her wrist and brought her to her knees. He pulled her head up by her hair as he leaned against her backside. “Do you have feelings for Barba?” Hattie didn't answer his question but instead pleaded with him. “Please stop. Please.” He pulled her hair tighter. “Answer the question Hattie.” Tears streamed from her eyes. “Yes.” She whispered. Adam let go of her hair and took his weight off her. Hattie was initially relieved, thinking that perhaps Adam would leave but her relief was quickly replaced with fear when she heard his pant being unzipped. “No. No. No.” She screamed as she tried to pull herself away from him. Adam gripped her waist, lifted her skirt, and pulled her underwear to the side exposing her to him. “I want you to think of him.” He said and then thrust himself inside her. She screamed as he roughly entered her. She wasn’t prepared for sex and her dryness made each of his movements excruciating. Adam reached down a pulled Hattie's head back up by her hair. “Picture Barba sitting by you in that booth tonight. Do you see him Hattie? I want you to picture him.” Hattie closed her eyes and thought of anything but Barba as Adam continued his assault. She tuned out his ramblings about Barba, instead staring at the clock on her nightstand hoping that this nightmare would end soon.

When Adam finally finish, he turned Hattie onto her back and caressed her face before getting up to leave without saying a word. Hattie heard the front door to her apartment close and she began to desperately try to free herself from Adam’s belt. He had use the belts fastening system to attach it to the headboard and somehow she managed to unfasten that. She used her teeth to unwrap the rest of the belt from her wrist. Once free she quickly made her way to her front door and locked it in case Adam was planning on coming back, then slid to the floor and cried. 

Hattie grimaced when she stood up. Her body hurt from the assault, her back felt wet and throbbed, and the left side of her face and neck stung. She slowly made her way back to her bedroom and began to gather clothes to change into after a shower. She paused when she opened the bathroom door and sighed, setting her clothes down on her dresser. Instead of showering she found her phone and called for a cab. She put the shirt she had been wearing previously back on and gathered her purse while she waited for the cab to get there to take her to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

“Can I help you?” The nurse in the ER asked when Hattie approached. “I was raped.” Hattie said softly. The nurse looked up from her computer and took in Hattie's swollen face that was starting to bruise. “Sit over here and I’ll get you back as soon as I can.” The nurse said, her eyes full of compassion. “It hurts to sit.” Hattie replied. “Wait here.” The nurse said before disappearing behind some doors. It wasn’t long before she returned with another nurse who took Hattie back to an exam room. Hattie sat carefully on the edge of the bed while she waited for the S.A.N.E. nurse and called Liv. “Hattie?” Liv answered groggily. “I’m sorry to wake you, but I’m at Bellevue and I was wondering if you could come down here.” Hattie sighed. “Is there a victim there?” Liv yawned, still half asleep. “Yeah... Me.” Hattie voice cracked. This woke Liv up. “I’m on my way.”

The exam room door opened and Hattie recognized the nurse that entered. The nurse hadn’t looked up from her chart yet. “I have to ask, is it ok if I call the police so that you can file a report.” “That’s not necessary Tess, I’ve already called Liv.” Hattie replied. Tess looked up from her chart. “Hattie?” She blurted, surprised to see the woman she had known for years now sitting in front of her as a victim instead of an advocate. Hattie sighed. “Yeah. Do the rape kit, exam, everything.” She lifted her shirt as much as she could to show Tess her back. “He did this with his belt. I don’t know how bad it is but it feels wet.” Tess had walked around to see Hattie's back. “You're bleeding but it wont take more than a bandage. I’ll document the wounds and then we can start patching you up and performing the rape kit.” Hattie told Tess what happened while she worked.

Once Tess was finished they allowed Liv in with Hattie. “Hattie are you ok?” Liv asked as she entered. “I will be.” Hattie said grimacing as she stood in the sweats Tess had given her. Her clothes having been bagged for evidence. “What happened?” Liv asked. “Can I just tell you at the station once everyone is there so I only have to tell it once more?” Hattie sighed. “Ok.” Liv said helping Hattie out to her car.

Hattie laid down on a couch in the interview room shortly after her and Liv arrived at the precinct. Rollins and Barba were the first to arrive followed shortly by Fin and Carisi. Barba looked around the room before speaking. “What’s so important that you dragged us all out of bed at seven in the morning on a Saturday?” “One of our own.” Liv replied gesturing with her head to where you could see Hattie through the window looking into the interview room. Barba’s heart sank. He didn’t say anything, just walked quickly into the room and knelt next to Hattie caressing her hair not wanting to hurt her bruised cheek or neck. 

At his gentle touch Hattie smiled as best she could with her swollen face. “Hi Barba.” She yawned, flinching slightly as she sat on the couch. “What happened?” Barba whispered. Hattie closed her eyes as tears began to form. She blinked a few away before managing to speak. “Adam.” She hadn’t thought about having to tell Barba. He held her hands and looked down at them noticing the bruising on her wrist. She instinctively tried to pull the sweatshirt’s sleeves down to hide the bruising. They sat in silence for a moment. Hattie's thoughts trying to figure out how she could tell them what happened with Barba there. 

“Oh.” She blurted startling Barba. “What?” He asked concerned. Hattie grimaced as she stood and started walking out of the interview room. “Hattie where are you going?” Barba asked as he followed her. “Conference room.” She said as she entered the bullpen garnering the attention of Liv, Fin, Rollins, and Carisi who also followed her. She pulled up the computer so that it mirrored onto the television mounted on the wall. “I bought Nest camera’s after my apartment was broken into when I first moved to New York. I typically plug them in when I leave and unplug them when I get home because it weirds me out to have them on when I’m there.” She logged into her account and selected the camera that was mounted in her living room. “I didn’t get a chance to unplug them.” She added as she scanned backwards from present time stopping when she went to the intercom to let Adam up. She turned up the volume and let it play. Hattie watched with them until Adam carried her out of view by her throat. “You’ll have to switch to the bedroom camera and back it up.” She said looking at Rollins then she stepped toward the door. “You're leaving?” Carisi asked. “I…” Hattie glanced around the room, her eyes shifting downward after making contact with Barba’s. “I can’t watch that.” She left the room and laid back down on the couch in the interview room to wait as the other’s watched.

Rollins queued the video up and they watched as Hattie struggled against him as Adam tied her to her headboard. Liv looked at Barba when Adam asked Hattie if she had feelings for him, noticing the sadness in his eyes. Rollins paused the footage when Hattie answered Adams question. “Barba?” Rollins said softly as they looked at him. “Nothing’s happened.” He spoke barely above a whisper, his eyes fixated at nothing on the table. The detectives slowly moved their attention back to the video. Barba listened but didn’t watch, he heard Adam say, “I want you to think of him.” He glanced at the screen as Hattie screamed and then turned to leave the room. “Barba.” Liv said causing him to pause. Rollins stopped playback again. “I can’t.” Was all he said. “You have to,” she paused briefly, “to prosecute.” He furrowed his brow and looked at her. “I can’t be your ADA on this case. I’m the reason he...” “Whatever there is or isn’t between you and Hattie... You’re not the reason he did this. This is on him.” Liv said reassuringly. He exhaled and looked at her. “I still have to recuse myself. He’s mentioned my name multiple times already. I can’t prosecute a case I’m part of.” Liv nodded that she understood. He turned before closing the door. “I’ll call McCoy and see whose available, make sure she gets the best.”

Barba left to find Hattie crouching next her when he did. “I’m so sorry.” He said, tears forming. She ran her fingers gently through his hair just behind his ear, careful not to mess it up. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” She said. “But he saw us talking. He wouldn’t have...” He started to speak but she interrupted. “Who knows what he would have done. Only a disturbed person would do something like that, it had nothing to do with either of us.” “How do you do that?” He said looking slightly mesmerized. “Do what?” She asked. “I came out here to comfort you and somehow you’re reassuring me.” He replied. “I’ve been volunteering or working as a victim advocate for over a decade. It’s second nature at this point.” She said dismissively. Barba didn’t say anything, he just watched her for a moment. Not seeing SVU’s latest victim but the woman he had known for two years. The only person he had ever met who could make anyone feel at ease. That was his favorite thing about her.

Hattie’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “I hate that you saw what he did.” She wasn’t looking at him but he could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. “I didn’t watch.” She exhaled. “You can’t prosecute can you?” He gently grazed his thumb over her non bruised cheek. “No. I’m sorry.” “I was thinking about it when I came back out here. There’s no way you could. He said your name so many times...” Her voice broke as she spoke the last part. Barba didn’t know what to say. He wanted to comfort her but he felt guilty. He kept hearing Adam’s voice telling her to think of him. Hattie broke his train of thought when she gently squeezed his hand. He looked at her and pulled his bottom lip up and slightly pursed his lips, gently holding her hand in his.

Liv, Rollins, Fin, and Carisi emerged from the conference room. “Whoa... How’d we miss that?” Rollins said, looking into the interview room. Barba had his back to them as he sat on the floor in front of Hattie. Liv turned to the group. “Fin. Call CSU. Carisi. Get Hatties keys. Both of you go and make sure they’re thorough and by the book. In fact ensure the cameras stay on so everything is documented. Rollins you take Hattie. Get her official statement. Ask her about getting drinks with Barba before the attack. I’ll take Barba. Find out what exactly is going on with them.” 

“Hey.” Rollins said as she and Liv entered the interview room. Barba stood as Hattie moved to sit up on the couch. “I need to get your statement now.” Rollins said looking at Hattie. “Yeah, ok.” Hattie said. “Barba. Can I speak with you in my office?” Liv asked. “Yeah.” Barba replied, following Liv. “What’s Adams full name?” He heard Rollins ask as he left the room.

Liv shut the door behind them and sat down at her desk, Barba sitting across from her. “Are you sleeping with her?” Liv asked a little harsher than she intended. “Excuse me.” Barba snapped back. “You two just seem close.” She said her expression softening. “I’ve never even kissed her.” He said sadly. “Then what are you doing?” She asked. “I’ve had feelings for her for a long time now, but she’s barely thirty so I never thought she...” He trailed off, the corners of his mouth twitching upward as he thought about the conversation he and Hattie had had at the bar. “Last night she texted me to see if I wanted to get a drink. I go out of my way to drop off or pick up a file if I know she’s here so...” He looked at Liv and shrugged slightly, “I wasn’t going to say no to drinks. She needed to vent. Adam was jealous and she was planning on ending things with him. I ask her what he was jealous of and she said me, that he thought I had a thing for her and that she had a thing for me too. I took a chance. I told her he wasn’t wrong, at least not about me.” He smiled mostly to himself, “She said he wasn’t wrong about her either. I told her that if she ended things before next Friday I’d take her out. That was it. We talked a bit longer. Our hands touched. I took her home and told her to call me after she talked to Adam.” “Ok.” Liv said, thinking as she looked at Barba with her fingers resting against her mouth.

Hattie had told Rollins everything she knew about Adam, gave her statement about what happened, and told her about drinks with Barba. “What was your relationship with Adam like?” Rollins asked. “We were dating but barely before that night he ran into Barba. He hardly answered his phone and only called back when he took a break from writing. We had gone on a few dates and hung out at my place. He had slept on the couch a few times but we never...” Tears formed in Hatties eyes. “You never had sex with him?” Rollins clarified. “No. We had been talking for a bit but only talked about becoming serious a little over a month ago and then he changed,” Hattie glanced at Rollins, “after he met Barba. He became possessive and jealous and I didn’t want to when he was like that.” Rollins gave Hattie a sad look. “There’s really not much else.” Hattie said fiddling with her hands in her lap. “If you think of anything else...” Rollins started. “I will.” Hattie assured her.

Barba was waiting in the bullpen when Hattie and Rollins finished. Hattie moved back to laying on the couch as Rollins left. “Can I?” Barba asked, gesturing to Hattie with his eyes. “I don’t see why not.” Rollins replied. Hattie didn’t say anything when he entered. She lifted her head up slightly so he could sit on the couch and then gently rested her head on his leg. He lightly ran his fingers through her hair as she finally fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many distractions around while I wrote this chapter. If something doesn’t make sense let me know.

“Hattie.” Carisi said rather loudly as he walked into the interview room. “Shhh.” Barba said quietly hushing him. Carisi saw Hattie asleep, her hand having joined her head still resting on Barba’s leg, and mouthed sorry. “I was just going to give her her keys back. CSU’s done.” He whispered, handing her keys to Barba. “I’m going to let her sleep a little longer.” Barba whispered. Carisi nodded before leaving.

“Uh... we might have a problem.” Rollins said looking up from her computer. Liv, Carisi, and Fin came to her desk to see what she had found. “Did she mention he’d been on The New York Times best sellers list eight times?” Carisi asked. “No just that he was a writer. She didn’t even say author. Although I did think his name sounded familiar. I own this one.” Rollins said pointing at the cover of one of his books on the screen. “Are you sure this is the same guy, not just someone with the same name or using his name?” Liv asked. “Yeah, I mean look.” Rollins flipped through a few screens she had pulled up. “He’s done countless book tours and readings. His pictures all over.” “Ok, we’ll hold off on arresting him until I talk to the DA. Make sure we have everything in order first.” Liv said. “Has Barba called yet?” Fin asked. “I’ll find out.” Liv replied.

Barba looked up when Liv entered the room. “Hey.” He whispered. “I just wanted to see if you called McCoy?” Liv asked. “I did. He said he’ll send someone over shortly.” Barba replied. Hattie started to stir so they both quieted. She stretched slightly but then her eyes popped open as she yelped slightly. “Are you ok?” Barba asked. “I’m fine. I just scraped my back against the couch.” Hattie said, slowly moving to sit up. “Carisi brought your keys back. I can take you home if you want.” Barba asked. “I guess.” Hattie replied, not really wanting to go home but not wanting to be at the station anymore either. 

“Do you want me to go up with you?” Barba asked when they arrived at her building. She didn’t say anything, simply nodded. He helped her up the stairs to her apartment. Once inside her stomach started to turn. She took a deep breath and swallowed as she looked around. “You’d think they could at least clean up.” She said looking at the fingerprint dust covering her apartment. Barba didn’t say anything as he looked around the small living room that barely had a kitchen in one corner of it. Looking past the smudges and debris left by CSU you could see she had made use of the small space efficiently. He watched as Hattie walked to her bedroom not knowing whether to follow or not. She stood in the doorframe for a moment and then crumbled to the floor in tears. Barba went to her and saw her room. It had been the most effected area. The sheets removed for evidence, her exposed mattress left with a large cutout, smudges covering every surface. He sat in the floor next to her and let her cry against him.

“I don’t want to be here.” She whispered after she couldn’t cry anymore. “I’ll help you find a hotel.” Barba offered. She shook her head. “I can’t afford that.” She took a deep breath and stood, wiped her eyes and went to her kitchen. Barba watched as she rummaged under her sink, standing again with a roll of paper towels and cleaning spray. As she headed to the door to start cleaning he put himself in front of her. “You don’t need to do that now.” He said gently wrapping her in his arms. “I can’t just leave it. I need it gone.” Her tears flowing freely. “I’ll take care of it.” He said as she buried her head in his shoulder. “You can come to my place.” He suggested. She pulled back to look at him. “I mean if you don’t want to be here. I have a guest room. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want.” He elaborated. Hattie chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “Ok.” She said, meekly.

They rode the elevator to Barba’s floor in silence, the bag he had helped her pack draped over his shoulder. She walked slightly behind him as he guided her down the hall to his door. Once inside he set the bag on the couch before showing her around. “The kitchen and living room, obviously.” He said looking at the large room they were standing in. He guided her to a door just off the living room. “In here is the guest room. There’s a bathroom through that door.” He said pointing to a door on the wall opposite them. She took the room in. It was minimally decorated but still felt cozy. She exhaled and smiled at him. He guided her to a room just off the kitchen. “This is my room. I’ll leave the door open if you need me, ok?” She nodded, looking around his room. While it continued the minimal motif that ran through the rest of the house it was by far the most inviting room. The colors were warm and the bed was neatly made, only a pair of cuff links on the dresser and a stray tie strewn across a chair to indicate it was lived in. “Are you hungry?” He asked pulling her from her thoughts. She hadn’t felt like eating but she also knew he hadn’t eaten all day either. “Can we just order pizza?” She asked turning from his room to face him.

Hattie had excused herself to shower while Barba ordered the pizza. She was attempting to put a new bandage on her back but it was proving fruitless. She sighed and put a loose t-shirt and her pajamas pants on, carrying a bandage out to Barba for assistance. “Can you help with this?” She asked as she entered the living room. Barba nodded. She turned her back to him and lifted her t-shirt up enough for him to place the bandage where it needed to go. “Thanks.” She said, taking the bandage wrappings to the trash. The pizza had arrived during her shower, he handed her a plate as he opened the box for her to grab a slice. She still wasn’t hungry but didn’t want to worry him by not eating. He noticed she barely picked at the slice she took but didn’t say anything, he’d make sure she ate tomorrow but decided to let her to process how she needed to tonight.

“We can watch a movie.” Barba suggested as he watched Hattie scan his bookshelves. “Is it ok if I read?” She asked not looking back at him as she pulled a book off the shelf. “That’s fine.” He replied. Hattie made herself as comfortable as possible on his couch pleased to have found her favorite author on his shelf. “You’re a Sedaris fan?” He asked as he sat on the other end of the couch with his laptop opened. “I am.” She smiled before flipping to one of the funnier stories, hoping to laugh or at least escapes for a bit.

That night Hattie tossed and turned as she tried to fall asleep. The room was new, the smells, the sounds. Her senses seemed to be on overdrive. When she did close her eyes she relived her assault. She got up to get some water and noticed Barba’s door open. She quietly made her way to peak inside. He was laying on his side with his back toward the door. “Barba?” She whispered. He rotated so that he could see her. “You ok?” He asked. “No.” She answered honestly. He sat up, the covers covering him front he waist down. She relaxed slightly when she saw he was wearing a shirt. “Can I come in?” “Yeah.” He said his voice faltering. She sat on the edge of his bed. “I can’t close my eyes.” She sighed. “I keep seeing him.” Barba closed the space between them and pulled her against his chest. She curled into him. “Can I lay here for a bit?” He didn’t say anything, just moved the covers back allowing her to climb underneath them. She laid curled in a ball, facing him, with her face buried against his chest, his arms wrapped gently around her, his scent comfortable and familiar, she fell asleep.

When she woke the next morning her head was resting on Barba’s shoulder, her arm draped across his chest. He had shifted to his back and she could feel his hand resting on her side from where his arm was gently wrapped around her. She smiled briefly at him while he slept before getting up to make coffee. She found the remote and sat on the couch, turning on the television. It was on the news so she didn’t bother changing the channel. She was finishing her first cup when Barba emerged from his bedroom. “Did you sleep ok?” He asked taking her cup to refill while he poured his own. “I did.” She smiled. He smirked at her as he handed her her cup back and sat next to her on the couch. They sat quietly, drinking coffee and watching the news, when a breaking story came on. “Best selling author Adam Thornton was arrested this morning on charges of sexual assault.” The news anchor said. Video of Adam being walked out his building in cuffs by Rollins and Fin filled the screen. Hattie froze. Barba watched for her reaction. “I’m gonna be sick.” She said getting up and heading for the bathroom.

Barba didn’t follow Hattie but instead called Liv. “He’s high profile?” Was the first thing out of his mouth when she answered. “I would have told you but I didn’t want to tell Hattie yet and you were always with her.” Liv replied. “She knows now, it’s all over the news.” He sighed. “You assume?” She questioned. Barba pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before speaking. “No she’s with me. She saw the news.” “Barba...” Liv whispered. “It’s fine Liv. She couldn’t stay at her place. She... She shouldn’t be alone.” Barba’s voice cracked as he tried to explained. “Could the defense use it against her?” Liv cautioned “Possibly but... I need her here... I need to know how she’s doing.” Barba confessed. “Did she know he was a well known author before?” Liv asked, letting this go for now. Barba thought about the different conversations he had had with Hattie since he had met Adam. “She never mentioned it.” Barba could hear Liv exhale. “McCoy wants to meet with her first thing Monday.” Liv said. “McCoy want to meet with her?” Barba asked surprise clearly etched in his voice. “As high profile as this case is going to be he decided that if you weren’t available it would have to be him. I’ll call Hattie this afternoon.” Liv said. “I’ll tell her. What time does she need to be at his office?” Barba asked. “Nine.” Liv replied.

Hattie hadn’t returned so Barba went to check on her. “Hattie?” He called, knocking on the door to the guest bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute.” She said through the door. He sat on the edge of the bed to wait when he heard her electric toothbrush. “I’m ok.” She said when she opened the bathroom door. He followed her back to the living room. “I talked to Liv, McCoy took your case. He wants to meet with you on Monday.” Hattie paused. She had tears in her eyes when she turned around. “I don’t know if I can do this.” Barba gently pulled her to him. “You can. I promise.” She looked up at him. “I didn’t know anything about him. He only told me he was a writer. I just assumed he wrote freelance or was one of those people who’s working on a novel they’ll never finish. He never mentioned he had published books. I never saw where he lived. I didn’t even google him. How could I be so stupid?” Hattie pulled away but Barba stopped her. “Hattie...” She looked at him. “Do you believe in the work you do?” “Yes.” She sniffed. “You trust the advice you give to victims?” He asked. “Yes.” She said. He leaned down slightly to look in her eyes. “Trust that now.” “It’s so much harder from this side.” She sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head against him.


	4. Chapter 4

Hattie sent Barba to her apartment on Sunday with a list of things she hadn’t packed but would need for the rest of the week. While he was there he had a new mattress delivered, the old one removed, and a cleaning service restore her apartment so that it no longer looked like a crime scene. After they left, he made her bed with the bedding he had purchased on his way to her place. When he returned to his apartment with her things he handed her a key. “What’s this for?” She asked. “So you can come and go if I’m stuck at work.” He replied. “Are you sure?” Hattie hated the idea of going home but didn’t want to be a burden either. “I like you here.” He assured her. 

Monday morning Hattie woke to the sound of Barba’s alarm. She smiled to herself when she felt him shift and groan as he reached over her to turn it off. “Morning.” He said with a slight smirk when he noticed she was smiling. “Not a morning person?” She asked. “I’m better once I’ve had coffee.” He said, resting his head on his hand so he could see her. “I’ve heard you groan like that at two in the afternoon.” She said lifting an eyebrow. “I didn’t say how much coffee.” He responded playfully, happy to see she was in good spirits. A small chuckle escaped her, the first since she had had drinks with him at the bar Friday. “I guess I should get ready.” She said, climbing out of his bed to go shower where her things were in the guest bathroom. “Me too.” He sighed, getting out of bed as well.

Barba walked her to McCoy’s office, his secretary letting them in almost immediately. “Have a seat.” McCoy said standing as they entered. Barba gave Hattie a reassuring smile as she sat in a chair opposite McCoy’s desk. “You’re not staying?” She questioned, noticing that he remained standing. “He may ask you questions that will be easier to answer if I’m not here.” He said gently pushing her hair behind her ear causing McCoy to lift an eyebrow. She nodded that she understood. “I’ll wait for you in my office.” He added. “Ok.” She replied her voice shaky. He gave her a soft smile before turning to McCoy, “I would like to be updated on her case.” “I’ll do what I can.” McCoy replied.

After Barba left, McCoy turned to Hattie. “What’s the deal with you and Barba?” “I honestly don’t know.” Hattie sighed. “I’m going to need more than that.” He stated flatly. She told him about their conversation at the bar before the assault. “I’ve had feelings for him for a while but I don’t know what will happen now.” She looked up at McCoy. “I need him though.” McCoy flipped through some papers on his desk, dismissing the subject for now. “Tell me about your relationship with Adam Thornton.” Hattie told him what she had told Rollins. “How many times did you go out, total?” He asked. Hattie racked her brain. “Maybe four times actually going out to do something, dinner, movie, you know a date. The rest of the time we hung out at my place mostly watching movies.” She replied. “How many times at your place?” McCoy asked taking a few notes. “Geez, I don’t know. Seven maybe.” She said. “Did some of those include nights you went out?” She made a face like she had just realized something. “No. Other than lunch a couple weeks ago. We only went out at the beginning. Those four dates were spread out over two months and then he just started coming over. I saw him slightly more than before but it was always at my place.” McCoy looked up from the files noticing her face. “This seem odd to you?” “It didn’t at the time but he’s the one who pushed to label things and...” She sighed. “I don’t know. I’m probably over analyzing given what happened.” “Did he stay the night?” He asked. “Twice, but he slept on the couch both times.” She said. “So you never...?” He asked. “No.” She whispered, interrupting him. “Over four months, you never slept with him?” McCoy clarified. She shook her head. “I met him at a bar. I’m counting that as one of the times we went out. I have only known him for four months. I know it’s not exactly common but I move a little slower than most.” She shrugged slightly. 

“Can anyone corroborate that.” He asked. “My ex boyfriends.” She replied. “I’ll need their names and how long you dated.” Hattie exhaled. “I dated Tanner Williams in college for three years, then Justin Rodgers for six months. After Justin was Mike Daniels for two years. Then Paul Walters two years ago but only for a few months.” “Were you intimate with all of them?” McCoy asked. “No. Just Tanner and Mike.” She replied. “Were you ever intimate with anyone else?” He asked. “No.” Hattie said softly. “No one night stands? No past rape allegations?” “No.” Hattie shook her head. “Ok...” He paused, “Would any of your ex’s be willing to be character witnesses if needed?” The corners of Hattie’s turned up slightly, not a smile but more out of relief. “All of them probably. They were all decent guys and things ended on good terms.” “Ok. I’ll have the detectives see if they can contact any of them.” He looked at her with sympathetic eyes and sighed. “I want to apologize in advance for this next question.” Hattie gave him a funny look before he continued. “Did you ever discuss a rape fantasy with Adam?” “What?! Never. Is that what he’s claiming? That I wanted that?” Hattie exclaimed tears threatening to fall at any moment. “It’s just a defense, not the truth. The video’s damaging.” McCoy started but Hattie interrupted. “If you can even get it admitted into evidence.” She stood standing to leave. No longer wanting to talk about the case... her case. “Hattie?” McCoy said as she stood. “We’re going to win.” She turned to face him tears falling freely now. “You can’t guarantee that.” “Will you send me Barba?” He asked as she opened his office door. “Yes.” She replied as she exited.

Carmen let Hattie in Barba’s office. He had been pacing since her meeting with McCoy started. When she entered he rushed to her, seeing she was in tears. “Are you ok?” “No.” She said as she buried her head against him. After a few minutes she calmed herself and pulled back slightly so she could see him. “McCoy wants to see you.” She said. “Ok. You can wait here.” He gestured to the couch. “No. I’m going to go to the precinct. I need to know... I want to talk to Liv.” She replied. “Do you want me to meet you there after I talk to McCoy?” He asked. “Yes.” She nodded.

“Hey Hattie.” Carisi said when she entered the bullpen. “Hi Carisi. Liv around?” She asked walking past him toward Liv’s office. “Yeah, but... Rollins is in there.” He trailed off as he spoke realizing she wasn’t really listening and had already opened Liv’s door without knocking. “Hattie!” Liv exclaimed as she entered. “He said I wanted this?” Hattie blurted, her eyes glistening again. Rollins closed the door and guided Hattie to sit in a chair. “That’s what his claim is but it’s just a way to explain the video.” Liv assured her. “I didn’t... I never...” She sat quietly for a moment before speaking again. “What else did he say?” Liv and Rollins filled Hattie in on what the defense lawyer and Adam had claimed happened. “So basically he claims that I’m trying to extort money from him by setting him up for rape?” Hattie clarified. “Pretty much.” Rollins sighed. “Great.”Hattie huffed. “Did you ever talk to him about waiting?” Rollins asked perking up slightly. “Yeah, every time he was over and things started moving too quickly.” Hattie said, slightly annoyed by the memory. “Did you ever forget to unplug your cameras any other times?” Rollins asked. Hattie’s eyes widened. “Just that night I was drunk and Barba helped me home.”

They all three stood and exited Liv’s office. “What’s going on?” Barba asked as he watched them rush past as he entered the bullpen. “Conference room.” Rollins said but didn’t stop. Barba, Caris, and Fin followed. Rollins pulled up Hattie’s Nest feed and backed it up to before Hattie’s door opened the night Barba helped her home. They could hear Barba asking her which key to use even though the door was shut. The door cracked open after Barba had unlocked and they heard the exchange between Adam and Barba. Then Adam help Hattie through the door. Barba felt anger when Adam accused her of bringing him home and then a sensation of jealousy when he pulled her close to him on the couch and started kissing her neck. Hattie looked away as she watched herself giggle clearly enjoying what was happening.  
Adams pulled Hattie down on the couch so that he was laying on top of her and kissing her. Hattie felt anxious as she watched. It felt like a lifetime before the Hattie on the screen grabbed Adams hand and stopped him from reaching under her skirt. “Stop. Adam stop.” She said pulling away. “Come on Hattie.” He pleaded pulling her toward him again. “No.” She said pulling back. “I told you in may be a while.” She said calmly running her hand against his cheek. “You’re kind of a prude.”He said with a smile as he stood up. “You want a drink?” He asked. “Water.” She replied. 

“Well that helps your statement that you hadn’t slept together.” Rollins said. Barba watched Hattie as she nodded at Rollins, this being new information to him. “What was that?” Carisi said pointing at the screen. “What was what?” Rollins asked. “Back it up.” Carisi replied. They watch as Carisi pointed to Adams hands as he got Hattie a glass of water. “Did he just put something in there?” Fin asked. They continued watching. Adam and Hattie talked on the couch a while and then she seemed to fall asleep. Adam lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. Barba watched Hattie as Rollins pulled up the bedroom footage. Hattie shifted in her chair. “Ok.” Rollins said as she started the video. Adam laid Hattie on her bed but didn’t leave. Instead he reached under her dress and pulled her underwear off. Hattie watched the screen in horror as he reached his hand between her legs. When he unzipped his pants Hattie stood. “Excuse...” She started as she ran from the room covering her mouth. She barely made it to the trash can by Carisi’s desk before she hurled. Barba brushed her hair to the side and sat next to her as she began to dry heave, having barely eaten anything.

When she finished, Carisi handed her a towel and some water. She rinsed her mouth and spit in the trash can before resting her head on Barba’s shoulder. “I don’t even know if...” She trailed off. Barba wrapped his arm around her and then looked up at the detectives. “I’m going to take her home. Find everything you can to help McCoy make this poor excuse for a human to pay.” He then stood and helped Hattie to her feet, walking her out of the station.

Hattie went to shower as soon as they got to Barba’s. After she had scrubbed every inch of herself she sat on the floor of the tub and let the water run over her as she cried. She stayed there until she heard a knock on the door. “Hattie?” She heard Barba call. She didn’t answer, but she did shut the water off and climb out of the shower to put her pajamas on. She was still towel drying her hair when she exited the bathroom and found Barba sitting on the guest bed. “Do you want me to let you have some space?” He asked. She sat on the bed next to him but didn’t respond immediately. “I don’t know.” She finally said. “Do you want to be alone?” He asked. “Not really.” She sighed. “Do you want me to call someone?” He asked. She shook her head. “The only person I want to be around is you...” she pause briefly, “but if you need a break I can go home.” He took her hands in his. “Don’t worry about me. I asked McCoy to drop my case load for the time being so I could be here for you.” “You’re not tired of this?” She asked. He pulled her against him resting his chin on her head. “I only wish this never happened to you.”


	5. Chapter 5

The defense had filed a motion to get the video from Hattie’s Nest camera’s excluded from the trial. “Can they do that?” Rollins asked. “I don’t thinks so.” Carisi answered. “You sure.” Fin questioned. “Well no but from what I’ve learned so far in class, as long as the camera’s are in plain sight and they don’t record anyone else’s private space, they should be admissible.” He explained. “They didn’t jump out at you when you entered but if you looked you could see them easily.” Fin said. “I’d say they qualified as being in plain sight.” Carisi added. “MoCoy’s in court now?” Rollins asked. “Yeah so we’ll have our answer soon.” Fin said.

“Your Honor my client was never informed that Ms. Stevens had camera’s mounted in her apartment.” Buchanan began but McCoy interrupted. “And if Ms. Stevens had set camera’s up without his knowledge in his home Mr. Buchanan could argue that. But she didn’t. These camera’s were mounted in plain sight, in Ms. Stevens private dwelling. She had no obligation to inform the defendant.” “Yes but this footage is more prejudice than probative. We’re supposed to believe that Ms. Stevens just happened to leave her camera’s on this night.” Buchanan started but this time Judge Barth interrupted. “Save it for trial Mr. Buchanan. Ms. Stevens had no legal obligation to inform your client and I’m not going to be the judge to exclude footage from camera’s citizens across the country use for protection. The footage is in.” 

McCoy gathered his thing as Buchanan approach. “Didn’t trust an ADA to handle this case? That worried?” McCoy didn’t bother to look up as he responded. “Unless your coming over here so your client can plead guilty we have nothing to discuss.” “We might be interested in discussing plea terms.” Buchanan said. “I’m not offering less than double digits.” McCoy deadpanned looking at Buchanan. “You can do better than that. Barba. Your office. You should think about whether you really want this to go to trial.” Buchanan advised. “I’ll take my chances.” McCoy said walking to meet Liv at the back of the courtroom. “This is good, right.” She whispered as they walked out together. “Depends on how the defense tries to spin things but I’d say it’s move in our favor for now.” McCoy assured her.

It had been a week since Hattie had gone to the precinct. She hadn’t left Barba’s apartment, choosing instead to stay in her pajamas and binge watch old television shows to take her mind off things. Despite everything that had happened she was starting to eat normally again and feel a bit more like herself. She knew all of that would change when everything was brought back up if her case went to trial but for now she would take feeling even slightly normal. “That’s a relief.” Barba said as he talked to Liv on the phone. Hattie, who was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest on one end of his couch, watched as he paced the kitchen. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll tell her. Thanks Liv.” Barba hung up the phone and sat at the opposite end of the couch turning slightly to face her. “So?” Hattie asked impatiently. “The footage is in.” Barba stated. “So that means...” Hattie started but Barba finished. “Adam refused to deal so your case will be going to trial.” “Ok.” Hattie breathed as she processed things. “What are you thinking?” Barba asked. “A mix of things really. I hate that it will be shown but I’m glad the footage is in. I’m nervous about testifying. I’m wondering when things will seem normal again.” She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at him with sad eyes. “I just want this to be over so I can start putting it behind me.” 

“Ok, get up.” Barba said standing and reaching his hand toward her. “What?” She said looking up at him like he was crazy. “You haven’t left my apartment in a week. I’m taking you to dinner. We will talk about anything but your case. McCoy wants to start trial prep tomorrow, which will be hard on you. You need to get out before it starts. One night while your feeling somewhat like yourself to hold on to during the trial.” He said pulling her off the couch when she took his hand. “I’ll change.” She said rolling her eyes at him as he smirked at her pajamas.

The restaurant was not very busy seeing as it was barely five thirty, and they were seated at a smaller table for two in a quiet corner. “This is casual but nice. Is the food good?” She asked picking up the menu. “It is. It’s convenient to my apartment so I eat here more often than I probably should.” He admitted watching her study the menu. “I know you moved to New York right before you started working with SVU but I don’t know where you lived before that.” Barba said after they had ordered. “Boston.” She replied. “That’s all I get?” He smirked. “I went to Boston College in Chestnut Hill and moved to Boston after graduation. I had accepted a job with the rape crisis center I had volunteered with during my junior and senior years. My parents have a house house on North River in Hanover, it’s about thirty miles from Boston. That’s where I grew up. Better?” She smiled. He smirked again. “So seventeen years ago when I was in Cambridge attending Harvard you were... where?” He asked. “In eight grade.” She replied. He closed his eyes and exhaled. “I didn’t need to know that.” He chided. She smiled to herself, finding his discomfort somewhat amusing. “So what about you? I mean I know where you grew up and went to school but are you an only child? Do you have family nearby?” She asked. “I’m an only child and the only family I have in New York is my mamá.” His subtle slip into his native tongue made her smile. “Do you have any siblings?” He asked interrupting her thoughts. “Three sisters, all younger than me. The youngest just graduated high school.” She replied. “Four daughters... your poor father.” He smirked. “It’s his fault. He’s the one that wanted to keep trying for a boy. He even gave them boy names, Dylan, Elliot, and Frankie. They love their names though so don’t fault him too much for that.” She said, grinning as she thought about her family.

After dinner they walked around for a bit. Barba wanted to keep her out as long as possible since he feared she’d revert to hibernating in his apartment during the trial. “What made you pick the Sedaris book to read the other day.?” He asked gently taking her hand in his as they rounded a corner. “He’s my favorite author and I typically laugh so hard I cry when I read him. I was hoping to laugh just so that I knew that I still could.” She sighed. “Did you?” He asked. “Not out loud, but while I was reading I knew I would be able to again. Does that make sense?” She didn’t know quite how to word what she meant. “I think so.” He said squeezing her hand softly.

Hattie changed back into her pajama’s when they returned to Barba’s apartment. “I may go back to Hanover after the trial.” She said as she joined Barba in his room. “To visit?” Barba asked as he pulled the covers back, trying hide his concern that she meant longer. “Yeah. I haven’t seen my family since Christmas and it would be nice to visit for a week or so. I really miss my mom right now.” She sighed as she climb under the covers. “I’m sure she’d come up here if you asked.” He suggested. “I wouldn’t even know how to begin to tell them.” She said softly, curling up next to him as he wrapped her in his arms like they had done every night since her assault. “Barba?” She whispered, looking up at him. “Yes.” He whispered, returning her gaze, their faces inches apart. “Why are you doing this?” She asked. “Doing what?” He inquired. “Putting up with me.” She sighed. “I’m not putting up with you. I enjoy your company.” He said. “You know what I mean.” She said flatly. “Yes I do and would have thought it was obvious.” He smirked. She buried her head against his chest and whispered. “I care for you too.” Feeling his arms pulling her ever so slightly tighter against him


	6. Chapter 6

“Morning.” Hattie mumbled as Barba reached over her to shut off his alarm. “You sound chipper.” He said sarcastically. “Can’t I just stay in bed?” She asked pulling the covers over her head. He pulled them back down and grinned when he saw she was pouting playfully. “I really wish you could. That we both could.” “You’ll be there?” She asked, her face becoming more serious now. “The whole time.” He assured her. “And if...” She started but he stopped her. “Stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine.” “But you’ll have to see it today. Hear what he said.” She sighed. “Do you blame me?” He asked. “Of course not.” She said, lightly grazing his cheek with her fingers. He ran his fingers through her hair, sliding his hand to the back of her neck and gently caressed her jaw with his thumb. “That’s all that matters to me.” She smiled and pulled herself against him. “Ok, just five more minutes.” She said, stretching her arms around his chest. “What could five minutes hurt.” He hummed, returning her embrace.

McCoy had wanted to meet in the courtroom to prep, that way Hattie would be prepared for the feel of sitting on the stand. “That’s where it will play?” Hattie asked gesturing to television in the front of the courtroom. “Yes.” McCoy nodded. “Ok.” She breathed but didn’t take her eyes off the television. “You want to go through an basic outline, without the video? Just to get an idea of how this will go?” He asked. “Yeah.” She nodded, glancing at Barba who was sitting at the prosecution desk. He nodded reassuringly. “First you’ll state you full name for the court record.” McCoy began. She nodded. “Then I’ll ask you about your relationship with Adam and after that will go through the video. Once we’ve walked through the video the defense attorney will question you.” “Ok.” She said taking a deep breath. “You ready?” He asked. “Yes.” She replied. They walked through her testimony dozens of times before McCoy prepped her for questions the defense might ask. By the time they finished she was so numb to seeing the footage it almost didn’t faze her anymore, which she assumed was McCoy’s intent. 

“How do you feel?” Barba asked as they walked out of the courthouse. “Ok, I guess. I feel a little better knowing what to expect. How are you?” She asked. “I’m ok.” He replied, but Hattie noticed his voice falter slightly. “I hate that you saw it.” Hattie said, tears forming in her eyes. Barba stopped and gently pulled her to face him. “I only hate that I saw him hurt you, Hattie.” She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Ok.” She nodded. “You want to go home?” He asked. “No. I have an appointment.” She replied, her gaze not really focused on anything down the street. “Counseling?” He asked, hopeful. “Something like that.” Hattie smiled and wrapped her arms around him for a hug. “I’ll be at your place in a hour or so.” 

Hattie paused as she stood outside Barba’s door. She took a deep breath before letting herself in. “Hey.” Barba called from his bedroom when she entered. “Hi.” She replied, walking in so he could see her. “You cut your hair.” He acknowledged, as he looked up from the book he was reading, surprise etched in his voice. “Yeah. I just needed a change.” She shrugged. “It looks good.” He smiled at her and she relaxed slightly. “It does? I’ve had it long for the majority of my life. I wasn’t sure.” Her previously waist length wavy hair, that she liked to style in soft curls, now hung straight, chopped to just past her shoulders. “I assure you, you look beautiful.” He blushed slightly. She smiled and crawled next to him. “How do you feel about tomorrow?” Barba asked. “I’m just ready for my testimony to be over.” She sighed pulling herself into his arms as he lifted his book to continue reading.

The prosecution and the defense made their opening statements. The prosecution stating their case that Adam had assaulted Hattie in her home. The defense arguing that Hattie had asked Adam to role play with her and that she was trying to set him up in an effort to extort money from him. Hattie was the first to testify. Sitting on the stand with the courtroom completely filled and Adam sitting at the defense desk was very different than when she had prepped with McCoy. “Can you state your name for the record?” McCoy asked. She took a deep breath. “Harriet Stevens.” “Ms. Stevens, how long had you known the defendant, Adam Thornton, before the assault?” McCoy asked. “Four months.” She fought the urge to add roughly as McCoy had insisted her answers be precise. “Were you dating the whole time?” He asked. “Yes. We labeled our relationship around three months.” She said. “How often did you see Mr. Thornton?” McCoy asked. “Not often. Ten or eleven times total.” Hattie replied. “During this time had you and the defendant had intimate relations?” He asked. “No.” She answered. McCoy continued his questioning with Hattie responding as they had rehearsed.

Barba watched Hattie shift anxiously as McCoy turned the television screen on. She had been doing so well. The hesitation was human and understandable but for the trials sake he hoped she found the strength to not fidget. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her take a deep breath and steady herself. “Ms. Stevens, can you tell us a little about what happened before you returned home this evening?” McCoy asked. “Adam accused me of spending too much time with a coworker.” Hattie started. “ADA Rafael Barba?” McCoy clarified. “Yes. He had become jealous after meeting him and we had had an argument so I told him to leave. I decided to end things after I thought more about the way he had been acting.” She said. “So you called Mr. Thornton and ended things?” He asked. “No. I was upset and needed to vent so I texted Barba to see if he was up for a drink.” She answered. “Why Barba?” McCoy asked. “Because we were friends and someone I could easily talk to and due to the argument, on my mind.” Hattie answered. “What happened after drinks?” McCoy asked. “I returned to my apartment and Adam buzzed to be let up. He said he wanted to apologize. I let him up because I decided ending things sooner would be better than later.” Hattie said.

McCoy started the video after Hattie let Adam in. She kept her head facing toward the screen but looked away with her eyes when he started hitting her with his belt. McCoy had discussed with her things she could do to make watching the video easier while on the stand. Things that the jury would read and sympathize with as opposed to more natural reactions that the jury might read incorrectly. She focused on that while the video was playing. When it was finally over McCoy paused the video with her crying on the floor by her door, leaving the image up to resonate with the jury. “Did you ever ask Mr. Thornton to do this to you?” He asked standing between her and the jury so they could see her face when she answered. “No.” She stated. “No further questions Your Honor.” McCoy said taking his seat.

Mr. Buchanan turned the television off on his way to question Hattie. “Ms. Stevens. You testified that you hadn’t been intimate with my client, yes?” Buchanan asked. “I did.” Hattie replied. “I’ve been married a while, out of the dating game even longer.” He smiled at the jury before continuing. “What exactly does that mean?” “We never had sex.” She clarified. “But he had stayed the night?” Buchanan asked. “On the couch.” Hattie replied, every hair on her body standing up as an image of him assaulting her while she slept popped in her head. She took a breath as Buchanan continued. “Had you done other things?” “We had made out.” Hattie said. “See there you go again using words that could mean many things.” Buchanan chuckled. “We kissed with some over the clothes touching. That’s it.” Hattie clarified, not giving Buchanan the chance to back her in the corner he was so skillfully approaching. Barba held back a smirk, knowing Buchanan would have to change his approach.

“So you expect the jury to believe that after four months of dating, you had never slept together?” Buchanan asked. “It may not be conventional anymore but I tend to take things slow.” Hattie stated. “Hmm... you take things slow, yet you met with ADA Barba while you were still dating my client? Correct?” Buchanan asked. “We met for drinks as friends. Yes.” Hattie said. “And do you have feelings for Mr. Barba?” He asked. “I do.” Hattie admitted. “So while you were having drinks with Mr. Barba did you discuss these feelings.” Buchanan asked. “They came up.” Hattie said. “How so?” Buchanan asked. “I told him that I had planned to break up with Adam over his jealousy issues. He asked what he was jealous of and I told him Adam thought he had a thing for me. He confirmed that he did and I admitted my feelings as well. He told me to call him after I broke up with Adam and he’d take me out.” Hattie stated. “Did you kiss?” Buchanan asked. “No.” Hattie replied. “Have you had... what phrase did McCoy use... intimate relations with Mr. Barba?” Buchanan asked as McCoy objected. “Relevance?” “Your Honor, it goes to character, Ms. Stevens claims to move slowly in relationships.” Buchanan said addressing the judge. “I’ll allow it.” Judge Barth said. “So, Ms. Stevens...” Buchanan started but Hattie answered before he could ask again. “No.” “You haven’t?” Buchanan said lifting an eyebrow. “No.” Hattie repeated. “Even though you sleep at his place every night?” Buchanan asked. “We’re friends. He has a guest room. I can’t stand being in my apartment anymore.” Hattie snapped getting more emotional that she knew she should. “So you sleep in his guest room?” Buchanan asked and Hattie kicked herself for opening herself to the question. “No.” She replied, meekly. 

“Hmmm... Did you know my client was an author?” Buchanan asked changing topics. “He told me he was a writer.” Hattie replied, calmer now. “You didn’t know he had been on The New York Times best sellers list multiple times?” He asked. “No.” She said flatly. “You mean to tell me you never looked him up? It wouldn’t have been hard. You type in his name and his picture and top selling books pop up for you. Heck you can even find his net worth.” Buchanan said. “No. I never looked him up.” Hattie huffed causing Barba to cringe slightly, willing her to calm herself. “So you didn’t know that his net worth was a little over ten million. You didn’t discuss your role playing fantasy with him. You, who works at special victims and knows the ins and outs of these cases, didn’t leave your camera on this night in a plan to frame him for rape in order to get...” Buchanan would have continued but McCoy interjected. “Objection, Your Honor.” “Withdrawn. No further questions.” Buchanan said dismissively, satisfied with himself as he walked back to his chair.

“That could have gone better.” Hattie said dryly as she sank down between Barba and Rollins to watch the remainder of the trial. Barba took Hattie’s hand in his and gently squeezed. McCoy called Hattie’s ex boyfriends to the stand and each gave a glowing testimony of her character. They supported her claim to move slow when it came to intimacy and Buchanan didn’t bother to cross examine. “The prosecution rest.” McCoy stated after the last of her ex’s testified. “We’ll adjourn for today. The defense will present starting eight tomorrow.” Judge Barth said, smacking her gavel.

Hattie stood with Barba and the detectives making their way to the hall outside. “I can’t believe a walked into that question.” Hattie said still kicking herself for letting the world know she was sleeping in Barba’s bed. “You did well up there. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” McCoy said, joining them. “I’ll try.” Hattie sighed. “Are you talking to someone?” Liv asked. “Not yet. I will though. I was going to call my friend Jena for a referral after the trial was over, set something up for when I get back from Hanover.” Hattie assured her. “What’s in Hanover?” Carisi asked. “Family. I wanted to take a week off and visit, that is if you’ll let me Liv?” Hattie said realizing she hadn’t asked about taking more time off. “Take all the time you need.” Liv replied. “You guys wanna grab a bite?” Carisi asked the group. “Another time, I really just want to decompress before tomorrow.” Hattie said, taking Barba’s hand in hers.


	7. Chapter 7

Barba and Hattie joined the detectives to see the defense present their case. The only witnesses they were planning to call were Fin and Adam himself. No one could figure out what they wanted with Fin seeing as he only met Adam the one time. “Detective Tutuola. Did Ms. Stevens ever mention having a boyfriend before he came by the station for lunch?” Buchanan asked. “No, but...” Fin tried to elaborate but Buchanan asked his next question instead. “Did Ms. Stevens willing introduce him or did you have to ask?” “I asked, but...” Buchanan interrupted again. “So one could assume Me. Stevens didn’t want you to know about her relationship with my client?” “I guess.” Fin said. “Isn’t it possible that Ms. Stevens may have had other relationships that she never mentioned to her coworkers?” Buchanan asked. “Yes.” Fin answered, clearly agitated. “That makes it possible that Ms. Stevens could present herself differently depending on who she is around?” Buchanan asked. “I doubt that.” Fin huffed. “But you wouldn’t know would you?” Buchanan asked, adding, “No further questions” before Fin could respond.

McCoy didn’t even bother to stand. “Why didn’t Ms. Stevens introduce the defendant the day he stopped by for lunch?” “Because she knew from the tone in my voice that I planned on teasing her.” Fin answered. “And when she returned from lunch?” McCoy lifted his voice to indicate his question. “She tolerated all the nosy questions we had.” Fin smirked. “How often are personal relationships talked about at work?” McCoy asked. “Hardly ever.” Fin said. “No further questions.” McCoy stated.

Once Adam was sworn in, Buchanan began questioning him. “What was your relationship like with Ms. Stevens?” “I know her ex’s came up here and spoke of how demure Hattie was but that’s not the woman I was involved with.” Adam replied. “How so?” Buchanan inquired. “The Hattie I was involved with a freak, constantly wanting to experiment.” He lied so easily, it made Hatties skin crawl. “So you had sex?” Buchanan asked. “All the time. I thought I had lucked in to beautiful woman who knew what she wanted sexually.” Adam said. “What do you mean by she knew what she wanted sexually?” Buchanan asked. “She was always in charge. She would tell me what she wanted and I would willingly oblige.” He smiled as he shrugged his shoulders, coming off almost believable. “So the video we saw yesterday, that was her idea?” Buchanan asked. “Yeah, a fantasy of hers. She planned the whole thing. Told me what to say and when to come back. I had no idea she had a thing for that Barba guy. I guess she liked hearing his name.” Barba’s jaw clenched as Adam spoke. Hattie took slow deep breaths to control the tears that were threatening. “So why cry rape, if this was her idea?” Buchanan asked. “I guess she thought I’d pay before it got to trial.” Adam said.

McCoy stood as Buchanan sat back down. “Did Ms. Stevens ask you for money?” McCoy asked. “Not me personally but...” McCoy interrupted. “So she contacted your lawyer, your accountant, publicist, publisher, anyone?” “No but...” “Then how exactly was Ms. Stevens attempting to get money from you?” McCoy asked. “I just assumed if I made a deal it would come up.” Adam stated. “You assumed...” McCoy mused as he flipped the television on, an image of Hattie being carried into her room by Adam appeared on the screen. “Objection Your Honor. Prosecution never entered a second video into evidence.” Buchanan argued. “Mr. McCoy?” Judge Barth said. “All footage from Ms. Stevens cameras during the time she dated the defendant was entered into evidence when the trial began. This is a section of that footage.” McCoy stated. “How was the defense expected to go through every second worth of four months of footage?” Buchanan argued. “Your client knew when he was in Ms. Stevens home.” McCoy said flatly. “I have to agree with Mr. McCoy. The footage has been in your possession since the trial started. It was your responsibility to do due diligence. Overruled.” Judge Barth ruled.

“Do you remember this night?” McCoy asked, returning his attention to Adam. “I believe I do. It was another night we role played.” Adam said. “Role played?” McCoy said lifting an eyebrow. “Yes. I told you she’s a freak.” Adam replied. “Oh, well, lets just watch a bit.” McCoy suggested. McCoy pressed play and let the court watch Hattie lay perfectly still as Adam did what he wanted to her stopping playback only after Adam left the room, having replaced Hatties underwear and leaving her to sleep on her bed. “That’s role playing?” McCoy asked. “I thought it was weird too but it’s what she wanted.” Adam said. “Hmmm... So if I back it up and watch the interaction before, she’ll tell you to do this to her?” McCoy asked. “We had talked another time about this fantasy.” Adam said. “Oh...” McCoy said as he backed the footage up to them entering her apartment after Barba helped her home. He paused after Adam accused her of bringing Barba home with her. “This is the first time you met Mr. Barba, correct? Keep in mind we can hear the hallway interaction if I back the video up more.” McCoy asked. “It was.” Adam reluctantly admitted. “So the jealousy displayed here wasn’t premeditated?” McCoy asked. “No.” Adam said flatly. “Lets keep watching.” McCoy said pressing play again and pausing after Hattie asked Adam to stop and he teasingly called her a prude. “She clearly tells you to stop here.” McCoy stated. “That was just one of her games.” Adam said. “Oh yes... the role playing.”McCoy nodded. “If she was so wild with you why would she want to play someone so innocent at this moment?” McCoy added. “She was playing the virgin and wanted me to take advantage of her while she slept. She had some crazy ideas.” Adam said. “Ok.” McCoy nodded pressing play again, pausing this time at the moment Adam put something in her drink. “Then why did you drug her?” McCoy asked. “She wanted me to.” Adam blurted before Buchanan could object, causing the judge to allow the line questioning. “She wanted to be unconscious? I thought the whole point of role playing was to live out a fantasy not sleep through it.” McCoy said. “She wanted to know what it was like.” Adam replied. “Hmm... Is this the only time you drugged and had sex with her?” McCoy asked, ensuring Adam could see the remote. This question was more for Hattie than the trial. He knew she needed to know if Adam had assaulted her other times and assumed he’d be honest if he didn’t know what was and was not on video. “That’s the only time.” Adam said. “So, Ms. Stevens never asked you for money. There’s nothing supporting that she asked for any of this but your still claiming she wanted you to do this to her?” McCoy asked. “Yes.” Adam hissed. “I find that hard to believe.”McCoy stated, adding. “Withdrawn.” As Buchanan objected.

Barba paced his office as Hattie sat on the edge of his desk. If it had been anyone other than her he would have shooed them off, but he like the familiarity associated with her sitting there. Liv and the other detectives were scattered in seats around his office. Rollins and Carisi on the couch, though Carisi was only leaning against an arm rest. Liv and Fin were sitting at the round table. “It’s been hours.” Hattie sighed as the clocked ticked the start of a new hour. “Is it a jury that takes their time we want or a quick one?” Rollins asked. “Honestly, it’s hard to tell with a jury. I’ve had guilty verdicts on both.” Barba said. “That’s helpful.” Rollins said sarcastically eliciting an annoyed look from Barba. Both Barba and Liv’s phones buzzed simultaneously. “Verdicts in.” Liv said looking at Hattie.

They took the seats directly behind McCoy. “Has the jury reached a verdict?” Judge Barth asked. “We have.” The jury foreman replied. “Will the defendant rise?” Judge Barth said, facing Adam as he and Buchanan stood. “How do you find?” She asked returning her attention to the foreman. “We the jury find the defendant, guilty.” The man said. “The defendant will be remanded until sentencing. Court is adjourned.” Judge Barth said, banging her gavel. Barba wrapped his arm around Hatties shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze. She exhaled not realizing she had been holding her breath and gave a weak smile. “It’s over.” She whispered, mostly to herself. “Celebratory drinks?” Carisi suggested. “I’m happy we won but not quite ready to celebrate quite yet.” Hattie smiled, adding. “You guys can. Go. Celebrate for me. I promise I’ll be up for it soon.”

Barba listened as Hattie spoke to her mother on the phone. “Yeah. I had some time and I thought I’d come up for the week. Yeah. Tomorrow if that works. Great. I’ll see you then.” Hattie said hanging up the phone. “Are you looking forward to seeing them?” Barba asked as she crawled in bed next to him. “I am.” She smiled looking up at him. “It’s going to be strange to sleep alone while you’re gone.” He smirked. She gently rested her hand on the back of his neck, running her fingers gently through his hair, before ever so slightly pulling him toward her. His eyes bounced from her mouth to her eyes as their lips met. The kiss was soft and gentle. When it was clear she wouldn’t pull away he intensified the kiss. She moaned slightly before slowing the kiss to a few short kisses and finally pulling back to look at him. “You’ll wait for me?” “For an eternity if you asked.” He breathed, knowing she wasn’t referencing her visit home. She smiled and gently rested her head on his chest as he wrapped her in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

Hattie smiled when she heard people speaking with a New England accent as she stepped off the train in Boston. Her mom was waiting outside to pick her up and she felt a small weight lift off her shoulders being home. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to tell her family what had happened but she did know she was going to relish in being treated as though nothing happened for the first few days. Secretly she was hoping it would force her feel like herself again. “Hi mom!” She said leaning over the seat to give her mother a hug as she climbed in the car. “I’m so glad you came home this week. I’ve got a surprise for you.” Her mom said with an impish grin on her face. “A surprise?” Hattie asked suspiciously, pulling her phone out to text Barba she had arrived in Boston. “Who are you texting?” Her mother curiously asked. “Just a friend.” Hattie said, her smile not going unnoticed by her mother. “A boy friend.” Her mother stretched out the word boy like she was in middle school. “Yes a boy.” Hattie smiled returning her mothers immature tone. “Are you dating?”Her mom asked acting less silly now. “We’re something.” Hattie sighed. “What does that mean?” Her mom asked furrowing her brow. “I’ve known him a while. I’ve liked him a while. It’s turning into something but it’s new.” Hattie answered as best she could, smiling at the memory of the modest kiss Barba had given her before she boarded the train. “You seem happy.” Her mother noted. Hattie almost laughed. It was the first time in a month anyone told her she seemed happy. 

“So What’s this surprise?” Hattie asked as they turned onto her childhood street. “You’ll see.” Her mom grinned. Hattie grabbed her bag out of the back seat and inhaled deeply smelling the fresh air she missed dearly while in New York. They were greeted by her father and two youngest sisters, Dylan and Frankie, when they walked in the front door. “Come with me.” Her mom said dragging her to the kitchen after hugs were exchanged. “Mom!” Hattie squeaked. “What are you so excited...” Her jaw dropped when she saw the last of her sisters standing in the middle of the kitchen. “Elliot!” She exclaimed, running to hug the woman who would look identical to her if she hadn’t cut her hair. “I missed you too Hattie.” Elliot said, returning her sister’s embrace. “When did you get back?” Hattie asked. “Yesterday. I was going to call but mom said you were coming to visit so we just decided to surprise you.” Elliot smiled. “This is the best surprise. I’ve missed you so much. Five years is too long.” Hattie said. “Then you’ll be happy to know I’ve excepted a position at New York Presbyterian.” Elliot grinned. “You’re moving to New York!?” Hattie jumped as she went to hug her sister again. “I could use a roommate.” Elliot proposed. “You have no idea how much I could use a new apartment.” Hattie breathed.

The whole family was lounging around the living room watching a movie when Hattie’s phone rang. ”I’ll be back in a minute.” She smiled, excusing herself to the backyard. “Hi Barba.” She said once she closed the door. “How’s home?” He asked. “It’s good. Great actually. All my sisters are here, even Elliot.” He could tell she was smiling when she spoke. “Has Elliot been gone a while?” He asked. “She’s been working with Doctors Without Borders for the last five years. She’s moving to New York, taking a job a New York Presbyterian.” Hattie said. “You sound excited.” She couldn’t see but she knew he was smirking. “She wants to get an apartment together, which is perfect given what happened.” Hattie said. “Oh. Yeah. That’s great.” Barba said, some sadness in his voice. “I’ll still sleep over, just maybe not every night.” She smirked. “That would probably be the healthier thing to do.” He teased. “Speaking of making healthy choices. I set up a counseling appointment for the Monday after I get back.” She said.

Hattie and her sisters had always been close, but Hattie and Elliot being twins, shared a stronger bond. They were also a good nine years older than Dylan and eleven years older than Frankie. Hattie felt like a small piece of her soul was returned as she talked with Elliot in their childhood room. “So, who’s the guy?” Elliot asked. “What?” Hattie replied playing dumb. “The guy you went outside to talk to during the movie.” Elliot said throwing a pillow at her. “Barba.” Hattie blushed. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Elliot chuckled. “He’s an ADA with the Manhattan DA.” Hattie added. “What kind of name is Barba?” Elliot asked. “A last name. Rafael Barba is his full name.” Hattie smiled having never actually said his first name out loud before. “You’re dating and you call him Barba?” Elliot asked lifting her eyebrow. “I’ve worked with him for two years so Barba just kind of naturally comes out. The dating, or whatever we’re doing, is new.” Hattie smiled. “You look happy.” Elliot noted. “I am when it comes to him.” Hattie replied. “I don’t want to rain on your happiness, but how does your work feel about the two of you dating?” Elliot cautiously asked. “Normally as long as you’ve disclosed they can work around it.” Hattie said. “Have you disclosed?” Elliot asked. “Both of our boss’s are aware, but not officially.” Hattie replied. “Should you, you know do it officially?” Elliot asked. “I’m not really worried about work right now.” Hattie sighed.

The next morning Hattie got up at seven, without bothering to change out of her pajamas she slipped her flip flops on and snuck out of her parents house with out waking anyone. She walked through the backyard and down the wooden stairs that lined the cliff edge, leading to the boat house and pier. She sat on the edge, taking her shoes off, she dipped her toes in the water. Taking a deep breath she looked down the river, at the tree covered cliffs surrounding her, she felt at peace as she sat in her favorite place. There was something about the sound of the water splashing, the breeze on her skin, the fresh morning smells, that could always relax her. As much as she loved her family and truly wanted to see them, sitting in this spot, all alone in the morning, with only her thoughts to keep her company was the true reason she had wanted to come home. There was something cathartic about it.

“I thought I’d find you here.” Elliot said as she rounded the boat house to join her sister on the pier. “Bless you.” Hattie sang as Elliot handed her a cup of coffee. “How long have you been out here?” Elliot asked. “Not sure, what time is it?” Hattie asked. “Nine thirty.” Elliot replied. “A couple hours.” Hattie said. They sat quietly for a moment before Elliot spoke again. “I was reading through the news this morning, you know me I have to be caught up on current events...” she paused a moment, “I read an article about this author, Adam Thornton, and...” she paused again as Hattie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “your name appeared.” When Hattie turned to her sister she had tears in her eyes. “Do mom and dad know.” Elliot pulled Hattie into her arms. “You know mom and dad only read headlines, your name was only mentioned once and at least a third of the way through it.” Hattie told Elliot everything and for the first time in a long time realized just how much she had truly missed and needed her sister.

For now she decided that having Elliot know was enough. Her parents and younger sisters were happy and she felt happy when she was around them. She didn’t want that to change. Elliot knowing didn’t seem to change anything between them. They had the ability to make others feel completely comfortable in common with each other. For the remainder of the week she felt like a teenager again living at home with her sisters. As much as she had been enjoying herself, she was beginning to miss Barba. Hattie’s mom dropped her and Elliot off at the train station and they rode back to New York together.

Hattie guided her and Elliot through the subway system to Barba’s apartment. Elliot had offered to get a hotel room while they looked for a place but Hattie insisted, after she ok’d it with Barba, that the guest room would be empty anyway. “You have a key?” Elliot asked as Hattie pulled her key our of her purse. “I told you I’ve been basically living here for the last month.” Hattie replied, ignoring the look on her sisters face. “He must have it bad for you if he gave you a key and he’s not even getting any.” Elliot teased, eliciting a smack from her sister. “You’re back.” Barba said, doing a double take as both Hattie and Elliot walked into his apartment. “Barba this is my sister Elliot. Elliot this is Barba... or...” Hattie looked at Barba, “should she call you Barba or Rafael?” The corners of his mouth turned up slightly when she said his first name. “Why don’t you both call me Rafael.” He said giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head before greeting Elliot. “Rafael is fine. She didn’t mention you were twins.” Barba said reaching out to shake Elliots hand. “Did I not?” Hattie said, grabbing Elliots bag and taking it to the guest room. She had asked Barba to move her things to his room for the time being. Elliot smiled at how comfortable they seemed together. “She does that all the time. I don’t know if she just truly forgets to tell people or if she just likes getting a reaction out of them.” Elliot said as she shook Barba’s hand.

Barba had watched in amusement as the two women sat on his couch chatting. Hattie seemed to be more like herself than he had seen her since her assault. He knew she had a ways to go but this felt like a step in the right direction. It was late when Barba interrupted the two to tell them he was going to bed. “We should go too.” Elliot said. “Yeah.” Hattie yawned, as she stood to follow Barba. Previously she had showered and brushed her teeth in the guest bathroom but now that her sister was there all of her toiletries were in his bathroom. He had two sinks and she grinned at his they brushed their teeth at the same time. “Is it ok if I kiss you?” He asked as they both entered his room. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him to her as there lips met. The kiss was more intense than their previous ones. She broke away briefly to pull him in bed. “You don’t have to ask.” She whispered before pulling him back to her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

Elliot’s position at New York Presbyterian didn’t start for another week so she had reached out to a realtor to help her find an apartment. Hattie was going back to work so the plan was for Elliot to narrow the selection down to her favorites and then they’d both look at those on Saturday. “Do you mind if I leave Elliot my key so she can come and go while we’re at work?” Hattie asked as they were getting ready in his room. “That’s fine.” Barba smiled giving her a small peck as he passed to grab a tie. He watched as Hattie adjusted her dress for the twentieth time in the mirror. “Your sure you’re ready to go back to work?” He asked gently wrapping his arms around her from behind as she looked in the mirror. “Now is as good a time as any.” She sighed wrapping her arms around his. “You want me to go with you?” He smirked. “No.” She smiled.

“Welcome back Hattie.” Carisi said as she entered the bullpen. “Hey.” She replied. Being back was confusing. Despite the fact that she had spent two years working at the station the strongest memory she had was of the night Adam assaulted her. She took a deep breath before sitting at her desk. “Are you ready for a victim?” Liv asked. “It might be best if someone else takes their statement for the time being. I’ll be around for support until I know how I’ll react, if that makes sense.” Hattie replied. “It does.” Liv smiled before continuing, “We’ve already taken her statement but I did want to warn you that she was a victim of a date rape which might have some similarities to...” “I get it.” Hattie interrupted. “You think you’re ready for that?” Liv asked. “Can I observe initially?” Hattie sighed. “I was going to suggest it.” Liv smiled.

Barba smiled at Hattie as she leaned on the wall of his office. Liv sat with Samantha in the chairs in front of Barba’s desk. “So when the defense attorney questions me he can ask anything?” Samantha questioned after Barba had walked her through her testimony. “With in reason. I’ll be there to stop any questions that are out of line.” Barba assured her. “What if we lose?” Samantha asked. “Then you will have faced him.” Hattie said speaking for the first time. She moved closer to Samantha. “It seems daunting now and I wont even pretend it’s easy but it will help you heal.” “Ok.” Samantha breathed, pinching her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger.

Liv smiled at Hattie as she walked Samantha out of Barba’s office. “You did great.” He said giving her a side hug. “Did I?” She asked, looking a little lost when she made eye contact. “You ok?” He asked. “Yeah...” She replied as she stared blankly towards his desk. “I don’t think I can do this anymore... or at least not right now.” She added wiping a tear from her eye. “Hattie...” Barba sighed pulling her to him. “I can’t believe he took this from me.” She whispered. “It will get easier.” Barba said trying to reassure her. “Yes. Eventually. But I need to process my own trauma before I help others through theirs.” She surmised. “What are you going to do?” He asked. “Take a walk.” She said still staring blankly. “I mean...” He started but she interrupted him. “I know what you mean but I don’t know the answer.” She pulled up to her tip toes and gave him a modest kiss. “I’m going to take a walk, clear my head.” “Be careful.” He said, squeezing her slightly. “I will.” She smiled. “Can you do me a favor?” She said turning to face him as she reached the door. “Sure.” He replied. “Will you call Liv for me? I mean I’ll call and tell her I’m quitting tomorrow but can you call her and tell her I wont be back to the station today?” She asked. “You’re definitely quitting.” He asked. “Honestly, I don’t know but I’m leaning that way.” She sighed.

Hattie had been walking for over an hour when she realized she was standing in front of her apartment building. She pulled her key out of her bag and entered the building, ascended the six flights of stairs, and took a deep breath as she stood outside her door. She hadn’t stepped foot in her apartment since Barba took her home after her assault. Bracing herself for the mess left by CSU, she slowly opened the door. She chuckled slightly when she realized it had been cleaned. “Barba...” She whispered to herself as she looked around her living room. It looked as though nothing had happened. The corners of her lips pulled up into a brief smile as she leaned on her bedroom door frame to look in, still not having the courage to enter the room. 

“You ok?” Barba said as he answered Hattie’s call. “I am.” He could tell she was smiling. “I just wanted to thank you.” She added. “For what?” He asked. “My walk led me to my apartment, so I decided to go inside.” She said. “Oh yeah. I hope that was ok. I just didn’t want you having to deal with it.” He replied. “It’s more than ok. It made coming back manageable.” She said. “I’m glad.” He replied. She was browsing the books on her shelf when Elliot texted. “How’s the first day back?” Hattie almost laughed when she read it. “Sucks.” She replied. “Can you get away for a late lunch?” Elliot asked. “How about the little diner around the corner from Barba’s in thirty minutes?” Hattie sent back. “That’ll work.” Elliot replied.

“So today sucked?” Elliot asked as they were seated in a booth by a window. “Yeah. I think I’m going to have to figure out a new job.” Hattie sighed. “This is what you’ve done for more than a decade.” Elliot replied. “I know but it’s too hard to help right now.” Hattie said. “Do yo have any ideas?” Elliot asked. “Nope. I keep thinking it’ll come to me but...” Hattie shrugged. “You could always go back to school.” Elliot suggested. “Back to school for what?” Hattie asked. “Your masters, hell your doctorate if you wanted.” Elliot said. “And then what?” Hattie sighed. “Wow, you really need to snap out of this.” Elliot smirked. “Thanks.” Hattie muttered. “You used to want to be a school counselor. If you went back for your masters you could do that and by the time you graduated you’d have plenty of distance from this that you could always go back to being a victim advocate if you wanted.” Elliot said. “What am I going to do to pay rent when we find a place until I can get in school and financial aide kicks in.” Hattie asked. “You should see the contract I signed with New York Presbyterian. I think I can handle a two bedroom apartment and even if I couldn’t I’m pretty sure Barba wouldn’t mind you staying with him.” Elliot smirked. Hattie glared at her with a small smirk on her face. “What?” Elliot said. “I hate it when you do that?” Hattie replied. “Do what? Lay out viable options for you that you can’t come up with excuses not to do because they’re too logical?” Elliot said with a grin. “Exactly.” Hattie grumbled.

“You want to look at the next apartment with me?” Elliot asked as they finished lunch. “Can’t. I have my first counseling session with Dr. Brown at four.” Hattie replied. “That’s right.” Elliot acknowledged. “I can go with you the rest of the week though.” Hattie smiled. “The ones I saw this morning were... lets just say you haven’t missed anything.” Elliot said turning her nose up slightly and making a face. “Well hopefully the one you look at this afternoon will be terrible too and we can start fresh tomorrow.” Hattie joked.

Hattie sat anxiously waiting for her appointment with Dr. Brown. There was no one else in the waiting room so she stood to pace. “Stevens.” The receptionist called from the door as if there were more than one person there. Hattie gathered her bag she had put a few items in from her apartment and followed the woman down a hall. Dr. Brown sat in an arm chair when she entered, offering her the couch. The room was comfortable set up like a living room but without a television. She asked Hattie a few question but mostly just let her talk. Hattie spared most of the details but gave her the gist of why she was there. She wanted to make sure she liked her therapist before delving too deep. “You’ve mentioned this Barba guy a few times. What’s the story with him?” Dr. Brown asked. “I’ve known him for two years, had feelings for him for... well almost that long.” Hattie smiled. “You’re now living with him?” Dr. Browns eyebrow went up curiously. “Staying with would be more accurate. I couldn’t stay at my place. My sister and I are currently looking for a place together.” Hattie replied. Dr. Brown nodded before asking. “Have you been back to your apartment?” “Today. For the first time. It was both terrible and not as bad as I thought it would be.” Hattie smiled thinking of how Barba had attempted to restore it for her. “Ok,” Dr. Brown said looking at the clock, “I think you’ve made great progress in the last month or so. You’ve got more to go but you seem to be moving in the right direction.” Hattie nodded. “Does the same time next week work for you?” Dr. Brown asked. “It does.” Hattie replied.

“Hi Barba.” Elliot said from the kitchen as he entered his apartment. “I thought I told both of you to call me Rafael?” He said walking over to give Hattie a kiss. She was sitting on the floor between his couch and coffee table looking at something on her laptop, which he had assumed she brought back from her apartment since he hadn’t seen it before. “What is she doing in the kitchen?” He asked sitting on the couch behind Hattie. “Making dinner.” Hattie smiled. “I assumed that.” He smirked. “Salmon and veggies I think. I was only half listening when she told me.” Hattie said, clicking through a few more screens and jotting a few notes on a legal pad. “What are you doing?” He asked curiously. “Researching schools.” She replied. “Schools?” He asked lifting an eyebrow. “I’m thinking about going back for my masters. Maybe becoming a counselor at an elementary school or high school.” Hattie said sounding excited for the first time in a while so Barba didn’t push for more from her.

“You’re definitely quitting?” Barba asked, wrapping his arms around Hattie as they laid in his bed. “I am. I’ll tell Liv in person in the morning.” She sighed. “You want to talk about it?” He asked. “Not really.” She smiled, kissing him softly. He returned the kiss pulling her against him as though he couldn’t get her close enough. She moaned slightly as his hands gently roamed her body over her clothes. Her nipple hardened at his light touch as his thumb grazed over it as he reached to bring his hand behind her neck. She gripped his hair at the base of his head tightly as his lips moved from her lips, to her jaw bone, and neck, before making their way to her lips again. She ignored the mental image of Adam trying to reach under her skirt that appeared when she felt Barba’s hand breach the bottom of the fitted t-shirt she was wearing, opening her eyes to look at Barba, forcing the image to disappear. She moaned softly as his hand moved higher, grazing the bottom of her breast gently with his finger tips from beneath her shirt. She closed her eyes briefly and the image came back. She tried to ignore it but she couldn’t stop seeing the two of them on her couch the night he drugged her. “Wait, wait.” She panted pulling away from Barba. “I’m sorry.” He blurted, pulling back quickly. “It’s not you.” She sighed, resting her hand on his cheek. “I’m just...” “Not ready.” He answered for her. “I was going to say screwed up but lets go with your answer.” She smiled, leaning in to softly kiss him. “I’m in no rush.” He smiled running his hand through her hair. “I hate to tell you but your pajama pants are pretty thin and make a counter argument to that statement.” She smirked. “Yes but that’s what cold showers are for.” He smiled, pulling her close and kissing her.


	10. Chapter 10

“You look nice.” Barba said as Hattie emerged from the bathroom wearing a blue button up shirt and a cream colored skirt. “Thanks.” Hattie replied, using his full length mirror to put on her earrings. He was already dressed, wearing a gray suit with matching vest, a white dress shirt, and a blue tie. She couldn’t see them at the moment but she assumed his suspenders and socks were coordinated to match his tie. He moved behind her at the mirror and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled at their reflection. “We look good together.” He smirked at her statement and leaned down to kiss her.

Hattie took a breath as she walked into the bullpen, looked around and then sat at her desk. “Morning Hattie.” Rollins said as she rushed by. “Morning.” Hattie replied. “You’re late.” Fin said to Rollins as she quickly adjusted her things at her desk. “Did Liv notice. She hates it when I’m late.” Rollins asked. “No. She wont be in for a little bit Noah’s sick and Lucy can’t get there until nine.” Fin replied. “So what, you’re just bustin’ my chops?” Rollins question. “We all gotta get our kicks somehow.” Fin smirked. 

Hattie smiled as she watched the interaction not noticing Samantha walk up. “Hattie, right?” She said as she approached. “Yes, Samantha, hi.” Hattie replied. “Can I talk to you?” Samantha asked. Hattie exhaled and nodded, walking Samantha to interview. “How are you doing?” Hattie asked as they sat at the table. “Ok, I guess. What you said yesterday helped.” Samantha said. “It did?” Hattie asked, not being able to stop the question. “Yes. You’ve been through this?” Samantha asked. “Did someone tell you that?” Hattie asked, fighting the urge to sound defensive. “No. It was just they way you spoke. You sounded like you understood, not just like you were telling me something to make me feel better.” Samantha sighed. “I have, more recently than I feel is appropriate for me to help you.” Hattie sighed. “Can I ask you about moving passed it?” Samantha asked. “I guess.” Hattie replied. “Do you still have flashbacks?” Samantha asked. “I do but they’re more sporadic now.” Hattie replied. “Do you feel like yourself again?” She asked. Hattie smiled. “I’m getting there. That takes time. You just do one day then the next and the further you get from it the more you start to find yourself again.” “Can I ask how long it been?” Samantha questioned, softly. “About a month and a half.” Hattie answered. “Ok.” Samantha breathed. “Do you have a support system?” Hattie asked. “My mom and sister.” Samantha replied. “Rely on them, let them help you. Are you talking to someone?” She asked. “Not yet.” Samantha said. “I’ll get you a few numbers of counselors I know. That helps too.” Hattie smiled softly. “Thanks.” Samantha said returning her smile. Hattie reached to the shelf behind her and pulled one of her cards from the stack she kept there. “Call me if you need to talk or have questions.” She said handing it to Samantha. “I will.” Samantha replied.

Liv was walking in as Samantha and Hattie exited the interview room. “Great Samantha you’re here. Sorry I’m late.” Liv said, adjusting the bag hanging from her shoulder. “No worries. Hattie was talking with me about counselors.” Samantha said. “Great. Hey Hattie, can you take her to Barba’s. He needs to start trial prep.” Liv asked, continuing her path to her office. “Yeah,” Hattie replied and then turned to Samantha, “give me just a minute ok?” Samantha nodded. “Hey Liv?” Hattie said poking her head in Liv’s office. “Yes Hattie?” Liv said, putting her bag away. “I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I needed some air and then I had my counseling appointment.” Hattie said. “That’s fine. I always knew you coming back would be an adjustment. Take time if you need it.” Liv replied. “Thanks.” Hattie smiled.

“Hi Samantha. Hattie?” Barba greeted them as they entered his office, surprised etched in his voice with Hattie’s name. “Hi Mr. Barba.” Samantha replied, sitting in a chair in front of his desk that Hattie led her to. “I changed my mind.” Hattie said, answering his unasked question. “Ok.” He smiled, moving to sit at his desk. “Do you mind if I make a phone call? I wont be long.” Hattie said. “That’s fine.” Barba nodded. Hattie stepped into the reception area to call Elliot. “Hey Hattie.” Elliot answered. “Hey Elliot, change of plans. I’m going to stay. Do you mind going back to plan A where you pick the best apartments and we’ll look at those together on Saturday?” Hattie replied. “Are you sure?” Elliot asked. “I am. I’ll explain later.” Hattie answered. “Ok.” Elliot replied. Barba was informing Samantha of what to expect during the trial when Hattie walked back in and sat in the chair next to her. Barba gave her a slight nod as she did.

“He’s pretty intense.” Samantha said as she and Hattie walk back to the precinct. “He can be but I promise his hearts in the right place.” Hattie smiled. “Did he try your case?” Samantha asked. “No. A lawyer less familiar with me tried mine.” Hattie replied, not wanting to go into detail about her relationship with Barba. “Oh... He’s good though?” Samantha asked. “One of the best.” Hattie assured her. 

“So you’re not quitting?” Elliot asked as she and Hattie sat down to eat dinner. They had met at a restaurant not far from Barba’s office after Lydia had gotten off work. Barba was working late so Hattie had offered to get him something to go. “No I’m going to stay.” Hattie smiled. “What changed?” Elliot asked. “Liv was late, so I sat at my desk while I waited for her. I observed as the detectives teased each other, it was familiar, like nothing changed. Then the victim came in and asked to talk. I agreed. At first I thought it was a bad idea but then as we talked, it felt right. I felt like myself. Does that make sense?” Hattie replied. “I think so. You tell Rafael yet?” Elliot questioned. “I called you from his office.” Hattie smiled.

Barba’s light was on but his blinds were pulled as Hattie and Elliot approached his office to bring him dinner. “That’s Hattie, can you let her in.” Barba gestured to Fin as he was closest to the door. “This Barba, Hattie thing is still a little weird.” Rollins said softly to Carisi as they sat on the couch. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting everyone to be here.” Hattie smirked as she walked in, Elliot following behind her. “You have a twin?” Carisi blurted. “Oh, yeah. Everyone this is my sister, Elliot. Elliot this is Fin, Rollins, Carisi, and Liv.” Hattie said gesturing around the room as she made her way to Barba. “Bless you.” He said giving her a quick kiss as she handed him his food. “Elliot has some pictures of the apartments she looked at today to show me, so I’ll let you guys get back to work.” Hattie smiled making her way back to her sister. “You two are getting an apartment together?” Liv asked, trying not to let it show that she was slightly concerned that Hattie was basically living with Barba. “Yeah, Elliot’s moving here so it’s kind of perfect.” Hattie replied. “That’s great.” Liv said.

“So, you like the first and the second to last place?” Elliot asked as they flipped through the pictures she had taken. “Yes. We can put those on the list to look at on Saturday.” Hattie affirmed. “Ok, I let the agent know tomorrow so she can set it up.” Elliot smiled, closing her laptop. She paused for a moment and then looked at Hattie.. “What?” Hattie asked, giving her sister a curious look. “I was just wondering how well you knew that blond detective?” Elliot asked. “Rollins?” Hattie smiled knowing her sister was referencing Carisi. Elliot gave her an annoyed look. “Oh, you mean Carisi?” Hattie teased. “Yes.” Elliot rolled her eyes. “I’ve known him for a while. He’s a good guy.” Hattie said. “Is he single?” Elliot asked, blushing slightly. “He would be your type.” Hattie smirked. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Elliot asked. “Just that we have very different taste in men, I suppose that’s a good thing though.” Hattie smiled. “So you’ll introduce me?” Elliot asked. “If you want to swing by for lunch tomorrow I’ll introduce you but I’m not playing match maker.” Hattie replied, shaking her head slightly.

“Your sister likes Carisi?” Barba questioned as they laid in bed. “She doesn’t know Carisi, she just thinks he’s cute.” Hattie replied. “You’re still going to introduce them, even though it’s Carisi?” Barba asked lifting an eyebrow. “Carisi is a good guy.” Hattie smiled. “Yeah, but he’s Carisi.” Barba smirked. Hattie rolled her eyes as she pulled herself to his lips. “I just don’t like the idea of Carisi dating someone who looks like you.” He grumbled, wrapping his arms around her. “She’s not me though.” Hattie noted between kisses. “I know.” Barba huffed. Hattie pulled back. “What’s really bothering you?” She asked. “It’s immature and stupid.” He muttered dismissively, trying to pull her back to him. “I’m asking a lot of you while I heal. I don’t want you to resent me for something. So tell me what’s bothering you.” She said. “I don’t want Carisi to basically see you nude before I do.” He reluctantly spoke, regretting the words almost the moment they left his mouth. “Is that all?” Hattie laughed. Barba looked up confused. “Wait, that’s not what I meant.” He said grabbing Hattie’s arm as she started to remove her shirt. “I know Rafael, but I want to. I mean I don’t want to do anything but you can look at me.” She smiled, pulling her shirt off. “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice catching in his throat slightly as she sat topless in front of him. “I am.” She nodded, hooking her thumbs in her pajama bottoms and underwear, pushing those off as well. Barba had to focus on his breathing as he stared at her. “Come here.” She breathed pulling him to her lips. They laid back down, his hands grazing her sides and back as they kissed, her skin pressed against his shirt and pajama pants. “How do you feel?” He asked as she laid her head on his chest, his covers pulled up around them. “Safe.” She replied.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are definitely some spots that jump cut in this chapter but I’ve spent entirely too long looking at it now so it is what it is.

Barba woke up with Hattie still wrapped around him, her bare shoulders and arms above the covers. He didn’t move his arm that was wrapped around her, but kicked himself internally for telling her the stupid, jealous thought that had gone through his head. Why hadn’t he just made something up? Hattie smiled up at him as he stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t noticed she had woken up. “You ok?” She asked, resting her chin on his chest so she could see his face. He glanced down at her and then sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that last night. You shouldn’t have...” He trailed off. “Rafael.” She spoke, pulling herself on top of him so that she could look at him without him being able to look away. “It was my choice. Yes your statement was petty and stemmed from jealousy but you have to remember that one of the things I love about you is your inability to keep your thoughts to yourself, especially if your temper, or in this case jealousy, flares up.” She smiled slightly at the memory of him yelling at the judge after the Evie Barnes trial before continuing. “I didn’t do it because of what you said. I did it because I wanted to. Because I was in control.” “But the other night...” He started but she interrupted him. “I stopped you because I kept seeing the footage of me and...” she paused but didn’t say Adams name, “on the couch and I didn’t want that image in my head the first time you touched me, not because I didn’t want you to touch me.” He looked at her taking in what she had said. She could tell he was still mad at himself. She shook her head slightly and kissed him, running her fingers through his hair, smiling when she felt both of his arms wrap around her.

“Are you coming by my office with Samantha this morning?” Barba asked as she handed him her necklace. “Yes.” She smiled turning so he could clasp it. “Do you want to get lunch?” He asked, fumbling with his cuff links. She smiled and fixed them for him. “I would like that. I’ll tell Elliot to swing by the precinct at the end of the day. We can do dinner instead of lunch.” “Are you sure? We can do lunch another day.” He suggested. “No. This will be easier since Elliot is going to be running around looking at apartments all day.” Hattie smiled. His eyes twinkled as he gently ran his hand over her hair, not wanting to mess up the curls she had only recently started styling again. “What?” She said pushing her lip up. “You’re just really pretty.” He replied. “Whatever.” She smiled, rolling her eyes before pulling his lips to hers.

Barba spent the better part of the morning prepping Samantha for the stand. By the time they finished she was visibly upset. “I know it’s hard Samantha but I promise it’s better to over prepare for what the defense might ask than to get caught off guard on the stand.” Hattie said trying to reassure her. “I know. It’s just the idea of having to answer questions about my personal life in front of a room full of strangers is unsettling.” Samantha sighed. “Do you want to talk, grab lunch maybe?” Hattie looked at Barba and made a quick I’m sorry face. He simply nodded. “No. I think I just need to walk, clear my head a bit. Thanks for the offer though.” Samantha replied.

“Don’t you wish someone else could testify for them sometimes? They’ve been through so much already.” Hattie sighed as she sat in a chair across from Barba’s desk after Samantha left. “I do.” Barba replied. “Where do you want to go for lunch?” Hattie asked changing the subject. “I don’t know. What kind of food are you in the mood for?” He asked. “You like Greek?” She questioned. “How about Yefsi’s?” He suggested, closing the file he had been adding a few notes to. “That is one of my favorite restaurants.” She smiled. “Perfect.” He said taking her arm in his as they walked out.

After lunch Barba walked her into the precinct since he was planning on meeting with Liv to go over the case anyway. “Samantha?” Hattie said as they entered the bullpen, Barba still holding her hand. “I changed my mind about talking. They said you were at lunch but that I could wait.” Samantha said glancing at Hattie’s hand in Barba’s. “I need to talk to Liv.” He said, giving Hattie a little squeeze before letting go of her hand and heading to Liv’s office. “Do you want to talk in there?” Hattie asked gesturing to the interview room. “Can we walk? I think better when I walk.” Samantha replied. “We can.” Hattie smiled.

“You and Barba?” Samantha asked as they stepped outside. “Yes.” Hattie nodded, not wanting to lie. “Is that why he couldn’t try your case?” Samantha asked. “Yes.” Hattie replied. “Is he... I mean... How does... I don’t really know how to ask what I want to ask.” Samantha sighed. “It’s hard,” Hattie started, answering the question she knew Samantha was getting at, “he knows what happened. We take things slow. He has to be the most patient person I’ve ever known.” “He doesn’t seem very patient.” Samantha said, lifting her brow. “I know.” Hattie smirked. “So it’s possible?” Samantha asked. “Moving forward? Living again? Yes it’s possible.” Hattie said, stopping to look at Samantha. “Good to know.” Samantha replied.

Around six Elliot walked into the precinct. “Elliot, right?” Rollins asked as she walked by. “Yeah. I’m looking for Hattie.” Elliot smiled. “She’s here somewhere. You can wait at her desk.” Rollins offered showing her to Hattie’s desk. Hattie was working on a file she had spread out in the conference room when she noticed Elliot sitting at her desk. Carisi had been playing a game on his phone with his feet propped up on the table while she worked, having finished most of his paperwork earlier but not quite ready to leave yet. “Hey Carisi. Can you keep my sister entertained while I finish this up? I shouldn’t be more than ten minutes.” Hattie smiled, mostly at how conveniently this had worked out. “Sure.” He smiled before making his way out to the bullpen. She watched as he sat on her desk and they started talking. “Balls in your court now Elliot.” She muttered to herself.

“Why?” Barba grumbled as Hattie’s alarm went off Saturday morning. “I’m going to look at apartments with Elliot.” Hattie smiled, reaching over him to grab her phone and turn her alarm off. “Let’s stay in bed.” He mumbled wrapping his arms around her. “You can keep sleeping.” She giggled as she tried to wiggle out of his arms. “But I don’t want you to go.” He said, not letting her get away. “I’ll be back.” She said, still giggling but finally getting out of bed. “What time will you two be through?” He asked. “We’ve narrowed it down to five places so we should be back by two or three. You can meet us for lunch after if you want.” Hattie suggested. “I might. Let me know when and where once you know.” He replied. 

They ended up bringing Chinese back to Barba’s so that they could discuss the different apartments while looking at the pictures Elliot had taken on Hattie’s computer. “What about the one with the fireplace?” Elliot asked. “Yeah, but if ours has a fireplace than other units have one as well and that freaks me out a bit.” Hattie said. “Why?” Barba interjected. He had merely been observing until then. “I just don’t trust other people with fire, at least not where I live.” Hattie smiled. “Ok, never living in an apartment with a fireplace again.” Elliot sighed, marking that on off their list. “The one with half bath is nice.” Hattie acknowledged. “Yeah?” Elliot said pulling it back up. “I like that one too, and we’d both have our own bathrooms.” Elliot added. “She definitely needs that.” Hattie smirked. “Not just me. What if Barba stays over? He wouldn’t have to go out into the main apartment in the middle of the night.” Elliot said. “When are you both going to start calling me Rafael?” He asked. “We do.” They both said at the same time. “Just not when you’re around.” Elliot smiled. “I like the one with the half bath.” He said, rolling his eyes as he stood to throw away his take out container. “I do too but it’s too much.” Hattie sighed. “No it’s not. I can afford it on my own. I’ll charge you something reasonable knowing your budget to rent out the room.” Elliot smiled. 

They had informed her realtor of their choice and were set to move in in less than a month. Elliot and Hattie were packing up her apartment one weekend with Barba’s assistance. “What furniture do you want to keep?” Elliot asked. “I don’t know, my bookshelves. What do you want to keep?” She asked. “Your couch is nice.” Elliot replied. “No. That goes.” Hattie snapped. Both Barba and Elliot looked at her. “Sorry.”She sighed, realizing how harshly she had spoke. “I just don’t want to keep it, that or my bed. Trash them, donate them, burn them for all I care. I’d rather sleep on the floor than keep them. The bed frame anyway, I can keep the mattress. Barba got me the mattress.” She added, smiling softly at him.

“Why am I so nervous?” Samantha sighed, as she paced outside the courtroom. “Because it’s probably the hardest part of this whole process.” Hattie replied. “Did you feel like this?” Samantha asked, stopping in front of Hattie. “I did.” Hattie nodded. “Did it go as planned?” Samantha questioned. “Yes, aside from telling the court that I was sleeping in Barba’s bed. Of course the defense attorney didn’t let me explain that I was crying myself to sleep.” Hattie chuckled. “Well at least I wont be doing that.” Samantha smiled. “You’ll be fine, I’ll be there and Barba will protect you from the questions he can.” Hattie smiled reassuringly. “I still can’t believe the Barba you talk about and the Barba prepping me for trial are the same person.” Samantha chuckled. “Would believe he has softened over the years?” Hattie smirked.

Hattie sat with Liv behind Barba during Samantha’s testimony giving her a place to look if she needed a reassuring face. Samantha took a deep breath and let Barba guide her through her testimony. The defense attorney was someone Hattie didn’t recognize from any of the previous cases she had worked. He kept trying to create his own version of her character to fit the defense they had come up with, it felt forced though. Hattie watched the jury as he questioned her, their faces clearly expressing distrust in his narrative. “How many sexual partners have you had?” The defense attorney asked. “Objection. Ms. Down’s sexual history is not on trial here.” Barba interjected. “I have to agree, sustained.” The judge stated. Hattie smiled internally as she realized no one like this guy.

“What was that?” Samantha asked as they stood in the hall after court was adjourned for the day. “What you get when daddy’s corporate law firm tries to defend a criminal case.” Barba replied, not even trying to hide his smirk. “That’s good then, right?” Samantha questioned. “I mean there are no guarantees, juries have been known to do unexpected things, but what you’re seeing is an example of why lawyers specialize in a certain field. He knows it too.” Barba said straightening himself as the defense attorney approached. “Can we talk?” He asked. “My office.” Was Barba’s response as the two lawyers headed toward the elevator. 

“What does that mean, he took the deal?” Samantha asked. She knew what a plea deal was, she wanted to know what would happen to Daniel, the defendant. “He’ll get five years and have to go on the registry.” Barba replied. “So it’s over.” Samantha stated, looking blankly at the table. “The trial is, but if you need me I’m still available.” Hattie smiled. Samantha looked at her and exhaled, “That’s good to know.” “Do you want to grab food and talk about what happens after the trials over and you have to actually move on with your life?” Hattie offered, knowing Samantha well enough that she was already thinking it. “Yes.” Samantha nodded. 

“How’s Samantha?” Barba asked as they got ready for bed that night. “She’ll be ok. I gave her information on counselors again. We are going to meet for lunch next weekend to check in and see how things are going.” Hattie smiled. “You’ve gotten close with her.” He noted. “I think I’ve needed her as much as she’s needed me.” Hattie sighed. “What’s wrong with that?” He asked, moving to wrap her in his arms. “I feel a little guilty that, in a way, I’ve benefited from her trauma.” Hattie said. “She just helped you become a little more you again. Don’t feel guilty for that.” He sighed, resting his chin on her head. “So have you.” She smiled, looking up at him. His normally intense green eyes were soft when they met hers, almost lighter. He slowly closed the space between their lips, walking her backwards toward the bed. Their lips crashing into each other as he climbed on top of her, the thin material of her pajamas the only barrier as his hand roamed. She let out a soft moan when his hand made contact with her breast, no images of Adam entering her mind. It was just her and Barba, Rafael now. His hand slowly slipped under her tank top, making it way higher. She smiled when he finally made contact with the soft skin, gently rolling her nipple between his fingers. Her hands ran though his hair as he lifted her shirt higher, his kisses moving down her neck before he took the nipple he hadn’t been playing with in his mouth.

She moaned softly as she watched him. Slowly he moved his kissed back to her lips, pulling her on top of him, the shirt being removed in the process. His hand ran along the band on her pajama shorts as he tugged them downward. “Hattie?” He breathed. “Yes.” She panted, her hands moving to remove his shirt, her kisses trailing down his neck. “You can tell me to stop, at anytime if you need to.” He whispered. Hattie froze. She knew his intentions were good, but his statement only reminded her of what had happened. “What’s wrong?” He fretted. “Don’t do that.” She cringed, pulling her tank top back on. “Do what?” Barba asked, concern clearly present in his voice. “Don’t tell me you’ll stop. I know you won’t do anything I’m not ready for. Just know that, ok.” She sighed, calming as she look at him and running the back of her fingers along his cheek. “Ok.” He nodded as she laid back down resting her head on his chest. “Rafael?” She spoke as he played with her hair. “Yeah.” He sighed. “Thank you.” She said, not lifting her head from his chest. “For what?” He asked. “Even though your timing sucked, thanks for saying it.” She smiled, tilting her head so she could see him.


	12. Chapter 12

“When are you and Elliot moving?” Barba asked as she exited the bathroom in only a towel having just taken a shower. “Elliot picks up the keys Thursday.” Hattie sighed. It was Saturday and Elliot had gone back to Hanover to visit with their parents, leaving Hattie and Barba alone in the apartment for the first time in a while. “You sound excited.” Barba smirked as she sat next to him on the bed. “I’m looking forward to having my sister as a roommate but I’m going to miss this.” She smiled as she thought about how natural being in his home felt. “You don’t have to go.” He said looking at her softly. “I’ve thought about that but it’s a little impulsive don’t you think?” She asked. “Possibly, but I don’t want you to go.” He sighed. She smiled before leaning in to kiss him. “I don’t want to go either but I’ve committed to my sister.” She said pressing her forehead to his. “I know.” He exhaled as he laid back on the bed.

Hattie looked at him as he laid there, still in his t-shirt and boxers, staring at the ceiling. “I can talk to her.” She offered as she straddled him and laid against his chest. “Do you really think it would be impulsive?” He sighed as his fingertips gently grazed her arms. “Yes, but maybe being impulsive isn’t so bad.” Hattie smirked, pulling herself to his lips as his arms wrapped around her. They kissed for a while before he rolled her beneath him, laying between her legs, the towels she had around her splitting up her side. She pulled his shirt off and lightly ran her hands across his back before moving them to the waist band of his boxers, tugging at them slightly as best she could from the angle she had. He lifted his hips enough to push them off, kicking them down his legs, not wanting to pull his lips from hers. She managed to wiggle the towel off and toss it to the floor. Barba’s hand softly ran up her side before resting against her neck and cheek, his forearm against her shoulder and chest. Hattie moaned into his kiss as she ran her hand through his hair, lifting her hips slightly towards his. He adjusted himself so that he was at her entrance, pushing forward gently as his tip entered her. He pulled back from their kiss so he could look at her. She smiled up at him and pulled him back to her lips, moaning softly as he filled her. They held each other tightly as he rested his forehead on hers, pumping into her as she looked up at him, one hand gently gripping his hair the fingers of her other hand spread across his cheek and neck. He had wanted this for so long, years, and not just to have sex with her but to be with her. He knew better than to say anything so he kept his eyes opened and looked at her to make sure she was ok. Besides he wanted to see her, see how she moved while they were together. Her eyes didn’t close either, as she took him in. He felt her tighten when her breathing hitched and she pressed her lips back to his, moaning into the kiss as he continued to thrust, slightly faster now, collapsing on her shortly after his own release.

They laid there for a while, their labored breaths the only sound in the room. “Hattie...” He whispered as he lifted himself to look at her. She smiled at him and covered his mouth with her fingers not allowing him to speak. His eyes softened as he smiled back, adjusting himself so she could lay in his arms, no longer feeling the need to ask if she was ok. “I’ll talk to Dr. Brown about continuing to live here, see what she thinks.” Hattie spoke after they had held each other for a while. Barba squeezed her slightly. “If she doesn’t think it’s a terrible idea I’ll talk to Elliot.” Hattie continued. “You don’t have faith she’ll think it’s a good idea?” He smirked. “If you were on the outside looking in on our situation would you think living together so soon was a good idea?” She chuckled, turning her head to look at him. “I’d think we were idiots.” He grinned.

Monday afternoon Hattie met with Dr. Brown at her weekly appointment. “Why do you want to continue to live with Rafael?” Dr. Brown asked after Hattie had brought the subject of staying with him up. “It feels natural.” Hattie smiled. “If I’m being completely honest I liked you progressing in the direction of being a bit more independent. You can always move in with him again later once you know you can feel like yourself on your own. I know it’s comfortable but you might miss out on some aspects of your relationship if you jump into living together.” Dr. Brown suggested. “I may also need to feel safe in my own space again before making that leap.” Hattie sighed. “Truthfully, he probably needs this step in your relationship too, so he knows you’re not staying with him out of fear or comfort.” Dr. Brown added. “I’m going to miss getting ready with him in the morning.” Hattie sighed. “Leave some stuff there and buy new things for your new place. You can still have the mornings just maybe not every morning.” Dr. Brown smiled.

Hattie stopped by Barba’s office after her therapy appointment. “What did she say?” He asked as he pulled her to sit next to him on the couch. “She thinks it would be better for our relationship in the long run if I become comfortable in my own space.” Hattie replied. “What do you think?” He asked. “I think she’s right.” Hattie sighed, hating the look of disappointment on his face. “Oh... do you want me to help you pack up the things you have at my place.” He offered trying to be supportive. “No.” She smiled, elaborating when he gave her a curious look, “unless you have an issue with it, I plan on spending a lot of mornings at your place.” “No arguments here.” He smirked giving her a quick kiss. “Do you want to get dinner?” He asked. “Elliot gets in at six so we’re meeting up for dinner and it looks like you’re going to be busy anyway.” Hattie said, gesturing to Liv and Carisi as they headed toward Carmen’s desk. “How do you know you’re not going to have to stay?” He smirked. “I’d have a call from Rollins by now if I were.” She grinned before giving him a kiss he would have preferred the blinds been closed for. “See you tonight.” She smiled as she passed the detectives on her way out the door.

“What do you need?” Barba asked as Liv and Carisi entered his office. “Are we keeping you from something, councilor?” Carisi teased as Barba watched Hattie disappeared from view. “Always.” Barba replied dryly before looking to Liv for their reason for stopping by his office. “We need a warrant. We have a suspect for the body found raped and left in a dumpster. We need to search his vehicle to see if he used it to transport the body.” Liv stated. He smiled to himself that Hattie had been right about them not needing her before making the call.

“How was Hanover?” Hattie asked as she and Elliot sat down to eat. “It was nice. Mom and dad miss you.” Elliot replied, picking up a piece of bread. “Maybe I’ll take Rafael there this summer.” Hattie smiled. “Are you sure? Mom would be excited if you brought a man home... too excited since you never have.” Elliot grinned. “Yeah but their home is one of my favorite places. I want to share that with him.” Hattie replied. “Have fun when mom starts planning your wedding.” Elliot chuckled. “What about you? What ever happened with Carisi?” Hattie questioned. “Sonny and I have gone on exactly two dates.” Elliot replied, giggling at Hattie’s eye roll when she called him Sonny. “So what do you think?” Hattie asked. “He’s nice and we get along but I think he’s concerned Barba might have a problem with him dating me since we’re twins.” Elliot sighed. “Who you date isn’t Rafael’s decision, besides he knows we’re very different people.” Hattie smiled. “I think Sonny’s more concerned with the fact that we look the same and no one really knows the status of you and Barba’s relationship.” Elliot said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hattie asked furrowing her brow. “It’s only been two and a half months since...” Elliot paused but didn’t mention the assault before continuing, “he just doesn’t want to step on any toes if we were to get to places in our relationship sooner than you two do.” Elliot replied. “He doesn’t need to worry about that and neither do you. Rafael and I will do our own thing. We’re pretty content with where we are.” Hattie smiled. “Can you tell Sonny that?” Elliot smirked. “No but you can.” Hattie replied.

“Did you purposely wait to have your new bed delivered next week so you could continue to sleep at Barba’s?” Elliot asked as she and Hattie wrangled the mattress Barba had bought into her room the Saturday after they had gotten keys. “No. I’m sleeping here tonight. I have the important part of the bed.” She smiled as they dropped the mattress on top of the box springs where she intended on putting the bed in her new room. Elliot had arranged to have the living and bedroom furniture she had bought delivered later that afternoon and Barba and Carisi were helping to carry in boxes from the moving truck Elliot had rented to move her things out of storage in Hanover. Hattie’s apartment had been placed in the truck as well the previous evening. 

“I should have hired movers.” Barba grumbled as he and Carisi lugged in one of Hattie’s larger bookshelves. “Put that along this wall in the living room.” Hattie smiled as she pointed to where she wanted it. The furniture still hadn’t arrived when they finally got the truck unloaded so Hattie offered to take it back to the rental place while Carisi and Elliot waited. Barba climbed in the passenger side and looked at her hesitantly as she started the truck. “What?” She smiled. “I just didn’t know you could drive.” He replied. “I grew up in the suburbs where getting your drivers license at sixteen is a right of passage. I only don’t drive in New York because there’s no where to park.” Hattie grinned. “How many years has it been since you’ve driven?” He inquired. “I drive every time I visit my parents, but if you’re more comfortable you can stay and hang out with Elliot and Carisi.” Hattie teased. “I have an arraignment on Monday so please don’t maim us.” He said with a slight eye roll.

“I need to run an errand.” Hattie said after they dropped the truck off. “Ok.” Barba smiled as she took his hand and dragged him down the busy street. “What do you need at the drug store?” He asked curiously when they entered. “I need toiletries for my new place since I’m leaving the stuff I already have at your place.” Hattie smiled as she dropped toothpaste in the basket she had picket up. Barba smiled as he picked up a toothbrush for himself and dropped it in her basket along with a few other items as she shopped. “You planning on sleeping at my place when I’m not at yours.” Hattie teased. “Occasionally.” He smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist as the stood in the middle of the aisle. “You could keep a suit or two there if you wanted, I mean it would only be fair since I’m taking up half your closet.” She said as she looked up at him. He was about to lean in to kiss her when her phone rang. “Hey Elliot. Yeah we’ll be back soon I needed to run an errand. Pizza?” Hattie looked at Barba to get his thoughts on pizza and he nodded. “Yeah pizza should be fine.”

When they returned to the apartment the living room furniture had been delivered and Carisi had the television set up with a Quentin Tarantino film on. “Don’t you get enough violence at work?” Barba deadpanned as they entered. “These are great movies, besides Elliot put it on.” Carisi replied. Barba shook his head at Elliot’s smirk as he followed Hattie to her room to help unpack. “Could we at least watch something with a little less gore while we eat?” Barba chided as they sat around the coffee table where Elliot had laid the pizza out when it arrived. “What would you prefer, The Paper Chase?” Carisi teased. “Actually yes.” Barba replied. “You can’t be serious? That is the longest most drawn out movie I’ve ever had to sit through.” Carisi scoffed. “It’s called an attention span.” Barba said so dismissively the dig almost went unnoticed. Still, Carisi made a face when both Hattie and Elliot chuckled.

“You glad I made stop by your apartment for clothes?” Hattie smirked as Barba helped her make her bed. “Yes.” He smiled climbing on the bed and pulling her on top of him. She curled into him, placing her hand on his cheek as she kissed him. “Is Carisi staying the night too?” He asked when she laid her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know, why?” Hattie asked not bothering to look up as she played with his shirt. “He just hasn’t left yet.” Barba grumbled. “If I can have a boy stay the night so can Elliot.” Hattie chuckled, poking at Barba’s fatherly tone. “Yeah but...” He started but she interrupted. “We’re not the same person.” “I know it’s stupid but you look the same.” He sighed hating that he was jealous over something so stupid. “So if we weren’t twins it wouldn’t bother you?” Hattie asked. “No.” He replied. “What if it weren’t Carisi?” She asked. “Someone else I know?” He questioned. “You tell me.” She smirked. “Amaro would have bugged me more probably.” He huffed. Hattie bit back a chuckle, she had only worked at SVU for six months before Nick Amaro left but knew, look wise, he probably would have caught Elliots attention, the temper would have turned her off though. “What?” Barba asked noticing her trying not to laugh. “You know even then I’d get little butterflies in my stomach when you’d walk in the bullpen.” She smiled. “You would?” He asked almost making puppy dog eyes at her. “You never noticed I would always try to sit next to you when the detectives would discuss their cases?” Hattie grinned. “I thought I was just lucky it worked out that way.” He replied pulling her closer to him.


	13. Chapter 13

“Morning Barba.” Carisi smiled as he and Elliot made pancakes. “Morning.” Barba grumbled, making his way to a barstool at the counter. He was wearing pajama pants and a gray shirt and noticed Elliot and Carisi seemed to still be in what they had slept in as well. Barba decided that having to see Carisi before his morning coffee was officially the worst part of him dating Elliot. “Is my sister still asleep?” Elliot asked as she headed to Hattie’s room. “Yes, but don’t wake her.” He called after her, sighing when Elliot ignored him. “This is ok right?” Carisi asked once it was just him and Barba. “What’s ok?” Barba questioned. “Me dating Elliot. You’re ok with that?” He asked. Barba fought back an eye roll at Carisi’s puppy dog eyes. “It’s fine. I mean I can’t account for her taste but I suppose she could do worse. I swear though if I have to listen to the two of them girl talk about you because you hurt her in some way I will make work miserable for you.” Barba replied, feeling suddenly better about Elliot dating Carisi.

“Morning Raf.” Hattie yawned as Elliot half pushed her toward the kitchen. “I told her not to wake you.” Barba smiled as Hattie sat on the barstool next to him. “And I appreciate that.” Hattie mumbled. “It’s our first morning in the apartment, she couldn’t sleep through it. Besides, she loves pancakes.” Elliot stated. “I do love pancakes.” Hattie smiled. “Coffee?” Carisi asked, holding up the pot. “Please.” Both Barba and Hattie grumbled at once. Elliot chuckled and pulled two mugs out of the dishwasher for Carisi to pour coffee in. “You don’t drink coffee?” Barba asked, noticing Carisi pick up the only other mug sitting out. “I don’t need it, I wake up ready to go.” Elliot smiled. “You’d think it was the grueling hours of med school and her residency that made her this way, but she’s always been like this.” Hattie said, rolling her eyes when Elliot grinned. “The other residents hated me. I can function very effectively off four hours of sleep.” Elliot said. “They didn’t hate you because you functioned off of little sleep, they hated you because you were so chipper about it.” Hattie chuckled. 

Barba and Hattie spent the better part of the morning unpacking her boxes, what she could unpack anyway considering her bedroom furniture wouldn’t arrive until the following Saturday. “Your closets pretty bare.” Barba said once they had hung up the things that hadn’t made it to his apartment. “I think my clothes like your closet better.” Hattie smirked. “Where are we sleeping tonight?” He asked, pulling her against him. “We?” She replied playfully. “I like sleeping next to you.” Barba smiled. “Maybe we spend this week at your place. My dresser wont be here until next weekend and hate feeling like I’m living out of a suitcase in my own home.” Hattie said running her fingers through the hair behind his ear. “That means a full week of getting ready together in the morning.” Barba said, his hand gently pushing her hair behind her ear. “That’s my favorite part of the day.” Hattie smiled. “Mine too.” He smirked pulling her to his lips.

Hattie guided him toward the mattress, pulling him on top of her as she inched backwards. Barba pressed himself against her, only the thin material of their pajamas between them and the others hands. “Hattie...” Barba breathed, his kisses moving to her neck. “You don’t have to be as gentle this time. I promise I won’t break.” Hattie said, smiling when he looked up at her. “What if I want to be gentle.” He smirked. “Then be gentle.” She chuckled, reaching to pull the grey shirt off him. Barba’s hand skimmed her side, sliding downward to the bottom of her shirt, lightly caressing her stomach on their way to her breast. He tugged her shirt up with his free hand, engulfing the nipple he wasn’t rolling between his fingers in his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. Hattie pulled her shirt the rest of the way off, gently running her hands through his hair after tossing it in the floor. Both of Barba’s hands were on her breast as he inched himself lower, kissing down her torso. Hattie lifted slightly, allowing him to tug her pajama shorts and underwear off, watching as he kissed from her knee up her thigh. Her breathing hitched when his tongue flicked against her. “Raf...” She moaned, her hips pulling away from him slightly as the pressure built. Barba held her still as he rolled his tongue while gently sucking her. Hattie covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her moan, gripping the sheets with the other, her shoulders arching back. “Raf...” She panted, pushing at his head when she became too sensitive. Rafael slipped his remaining clothes off as he crawled back up her, lightly kissing her skin as he went. Their eyes locked as he pushed into her. Hattie pulled him to her lips moaning against them as he thrust. “Hattie...” He grunted, thrusting faster. “Yes.” She panted, running her hands through his hair as he looked at her. “Never mind.” He groaned, pushing her leg up and over so he could move her to her side, continuing to thrust inside her. “Jesus Raf...” Hattie moaned, slightly loader than either of them probably would have liked considering Carisi and Elliot were watching a movie in the living room.

Barba was still panting behind her when Hattie turned to face him, her eyes catching his as she kissed him. “You are so much more than I had hoped for...” She whispered while seemingly trying to get herself as close to him as possible. “What do you mean?” Barba asked. “I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and I knew who you were at work and how I thought you’d be if this ever happened... it’s just... with the last few months and with everything that’s happened... you’ve been absolutely perfect.” Hattie said, looking up at him. “I know I haven’t been perfect.” He sighed, thinking back to some of his comments made out of jealousy. “You’ve been perfect to me.” She smiled. “Come on.” Barba smirked as he climbed out of bed and tugged on her arm. “Where are we going?” Hattie giggled. “To take a shower and then out to eat.” He replied.

“What?” Barba asked when Hattie laughed while looking at her phone as they were seated at the restaurant. “Nothing.” She chuckled, putting her phone away. “You’re really not going to tell me what you find so amusing?” He questioned. “I don’t think you want to know.” Hattie smiled. Barba stared at her for a moment. “I want to know.” He huffed almost childlike. “I really don’t think you do.” She said, trying but failing not to laugh. “If it made you laugh then why shouldn’t I know?” Barba inquired. “I have a better sense of humor than you do.” Hattie smirked. “I have a sense of humor...” He huffed. “It involves Carisi...” She said, not really wanting to tell him anymore. “All the more reason to tell me.” Barba argued. “And how loud we might have been earlier...” Hattie added, barely able to stop herself from giggling at the face he had made. “We’re only having sex at my place from now on.” He grumbled. “We will have sex wherever and whenever we want and Carisi will have to get over it if he hears something.” Hattie chuckled. “I’m officially against your sister dating Carisi again.” Barba huffed. “When were you for the two of them dating?” Hattie smiled. “This morning when I realized I could use it to torment Carisi at work.” He smirked. “You two are both being immature.” She stated, shaking her head. “You’re equating me with Carisi?” Barba challenged. “Maturity wise, at this moment... yes.” Hattie chuckled. “Fine, I’ll let it go.” He grumbled.

“I’m thinking about going to Hanover again, maybe mid June. Would you want to go with me?” Hattie asked as they ate. “Where would we stay?” Barba inquired. “My parents house.” She replied. “Would we sleep in your childhood room?” He chuckled to hide the nerves he felt about staying with and meeting her parents all at once. “Either there or the guest room. I shared a room with Elliot the whole time we lived at home so our room has two twin beds, the guest room has a queen.” Hattie said. “We can sleep where you normally sleep.” Barba offered, finding the idea of not sharing a bed with her under her parents roof appealing. “Ok,” she smiled, “I’ll call my mom and see when in June works best for them.” “You seem excited.” He said, her smile being somewhat infectious. “I am. My parents house, the river, Hanover... it’s my favorite place in the world. I want to share that with you.” Hattie grinned. “In the world?” Barba questioned, lifting a brow. “I’ll show you my favorite spot when we get there.” She grinned again and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh... I should warn you about my mom.” Hattie sighed. “What about her?” He asked curiously. “Well... I’ve never exactly brought anyone home before and she will probably ask you all sorts of questions involving our relationship and marriage and kids... she means well but get’s excited. I will deflect when I can I promise.” She said, turning slightly pink. “How do you want me to answer her questions?” Barba asked, using his fingers to hide the smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll remind her we’re still new and you can answer honestly but vaguely... I’d like to get married someday... I like kids... something along those lines.” Hattie suggested, the pink failing to fade from her cheeks. “Do you want kids?” He asked. “Someday,” she replied, “what about you?” “With the right person perhaps.” He smiled. “So... the vague answers won’t be a problem.” She chuckled.

“Your apartments quiet without Elliot.” Hattie noted as they cuddled on his couch after dinner. “Don’t get me wrong, I like your sister, but I prefer it just the two of us.” Barba smiled. “You like quiet and order, Elliot is neither of those.” Hattie chuckled. “I also like being alone with you.” He said, pulling her closer. “We should have told each other how we felt a long time ago.” She said softly, resting her head against his chest. “How long have you had feelings for me?” Barba questioned, his fingers running through her hair. “I’m pretty sure my crush on you developed during the first case we worked together. For the longest time I couldn’t stop myself from incessantly talking... I was so afraid you’d think I was an idiot,” Hattie chuckled, almost nervously before continuing, “overtime I loosened up though.” “I just thought it was nerves associated with starting a new job.” Barba smiled, remembering a particularly fond memory he had of her blushing as she rambled on, working toward some point she had been trying to make. “Nope, the rambling only happened when we were alone together. I’m almost thankful for that. I don’t even want to think about the teasing I would have had to endure if Rollins and Fin suspected I liked you.” She smiled. “What exactly did that text from your sister say?” Barba asked. Hattie rolled her eyes, pulling her phone from her pocket, she pulled up the text from Elliot and handed it to him. “Sonny totally freaked and dragged me to my room refusing to confirm that what we thought we heard was in fact what we thought we heard. I found this funny. I however do want confirmation and if so I’m super happy for you.” “You haven’t responded.” Barba noted, handing her phone back to her. “It’s none of her business.” Hattie chuckled. “Are you going to tell her?” He asked. “I’m sure it will come up at some point but she only wants to know how I feel about it, not details of the act itself.” She assured him. “I want you to be able to talk to you sister.” Barba sighed. “I promise I want Carisi to know as little about our sex life as possible too.” Hattie chuckled.


	14. Chapter 14

Hattie smiled when she passed Barba on her way out of the bathroom, only wrapped in her towel from the shower she had just taken, her hair still wet though she had brushed through it. Barba smirked to himself while reaching back to grab her hand, pulling her into his arms, ignoring the startled squeak she made. “We both have to get to work.” She scolded, though the smile on her face made her less than convincing. “I promise you wont be late.” He breathed as his lips hovered over hers before gently making contact. The embrace was over too soon for either of them and Barba sighed as he rested his forehead against hers, knowing he needed to take his shower before it got to be much later. “I promise I’ll still be here after your shower.” Hattie smirked, giving him a quick peck as she wiggled out of his arms. “I know.” He grumbled, continuing into the bathroom.

Hattie couldn’t help but smile as she searched his closet for an outfit for the day. She loved waking up in his arms, that they brushed their teeth side by side while making eyes at each other in the mirror, the coffee he left for her on the nightstand while she showered after he had undoubtedly drank a few cups himself... She wasn’t much for PDA, but this... these private moments between the two of them... they meant everything to her. She felt a little sappy, but even that thought made her smile. Settling on a charcoal grey knit wrap skirt that hit an inch or two past her knees and a white shortsleeved sweater with a crew neck and reached just to the waist of the skirt, she laid the outfit out on his bed, grabbed her coffee and ventured back to the bathroom to do her hair and makeup.

“You look pretty.” Barba smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist as she adjusted her outfit in his full length mirror. Her chestnut brown hair had grown out enough that even when curled it fell past her shoulders and even in the grey pumps she had stepped into, he still stood a few inches taller than her. “Did you plan to match me or is the grey coincidental?” Hattie smirked, turning to face him. “It wasn’t planned, but I wouldn’t want either of us to change.” He murmured, leaning down to kiss her. “Work.” She panted pulling away from his lips. “If you insist.” Barba chuckled. “I can’t be late, not today... it would set a bad precedent.” Hattie stated. “They already know.” He smiled. “That is not the point.” She grumbled. “Fine, grab your things. I’ll get you to work on time, maybe even early if we leave now.” Barba teased.

“Liv?” Hattie said as she knocked on her open door. “Hattie, come in.” Liv smiled, gesturing to a seat in front of her desk. “Are you busy?” Hattie questioned. “I’ve got time. What did you need?” Liv asked. Hattie pulled a piece of paper she had folded into thirds into view and handed it to Liv. “I know Rafael and I aren’t exactly a secret, but I wanted to officially disclose our relationship.” Hattie said, feeling more nervous than she had expected to. Liv glanced at the disclosure before speaking, “I’ll update your file with IAB.” “Is that it?” Hattie asked. “Everything with your relationship with Barba has been fairly public at least within the NYPD and the DA’s office. This will officially document it in your file, but if there had been a issue it would have come up by now.” Liv smiled. “Ok.” Hattie exhaled. She had assumed that, but it was still nice to hear Liv say it. 

“How long have you had feelings for Barba?” Liv asked more out of curiosity than anything, when Hattie started to stand to leave. “Entirely too long.” Hattie chuckled. “And how long is that?” Liv smiled. “Pretty much the entire time I’ve worked here.” Hattie replied, turning slightly pink, though she wasn’t sure why, he knew how she felt. “That surprises me a little.” Liv said and Hattie could tell she was thinking. “Why?” She asked. “It’s just... you two seem so different, that’s all.” Liv replied. “We’re really not that different.” Hattie smiled. “Yes you are. You are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, you continually go out of your way to help out people you barely know. Barba... he’s stubborn and arrogant and...” Liv was interrupted by Hattie. “The arrogance and stubbornness are somewhat endearing don’t you think?” Liv couldn’t help but chuckle at the grin on Hattie’s face. “You can’t tell me you don’t see how kind he is... how much he cares. There’s no way he’d work as hard as he does if he didn’t.” Hattie continued. “I know,” Liv smiled, “though I still think some of it is because he hates to lose.” “And that I’d agree with.” Hattie chuckled. “How do you deal with him when he’s irritated and huffy?” Liv smiled, she had moved on to teasing Hattie now. “I love huffy, irritated Barba... of course that may be because he’s never directed it towards me.” Hattie shrugged. “In the two years you’ve worked here he’s never been irritated with you?” Liv asked arching her brow. She thought they had all taken the brunt of Barba’s frustration at some point. “Never... maybe that should have been my first clue that he felt the same way I did.” Hattie chuckled.

Liv opened her mouth to speak when her phone rang. Hattie sat for a minute, not knowing whether she should stay or leave, finally deciding to leave when Liv hung up the phone. “We’ve got a victim at Bellevue, the nurse said she’d been beaten pretty bad but is conscious. I’ll send you with Carisi and Rollins.” Liv said, both of them standing to leave her office. “I’m happy for you, and that Barba found someone who can tolerate him.” Liv smirked before she opened her office door. “More than tolerate, and thanks.” Hattie smiled, making her way to her desk to grab what she’d need to take the victims statement.

“You’re abnormally quiet.” Rollins said, giving Carisi a curious look. “No I’m not.” He huffed. “You and Elliot didn’t have a fight did you?” Hattie asked from the back seat. “No, of course not.” Carisi blurted. He and Elliot were getting along great. “Then get over it.” Hattie chided, knowing exactly what he was huffy about. “But...” He started. “No. Grow up and get over it.” Hattie interrupted. “What, did one of you walk in on the other in the bathroom or something?” Rollins chuckled. “Something like that.” Carisi sighed, turning to look out the window. “I’m serious.” Hattie scolded again. “Fine.” Carisi grumbled. “Does Barba know?” Rollins chuckled. “He does.” Hattie replied causing Carisi to groan against the glass. “Jesus, you didn’t mistake her for Elliot did you?” Rollins blurted. “What? No!” Carisi exclaimed. “See how much worse you making this for yourself.” Hattie chuckled.

Rollins and Carisi took Angela’s statement and headed back to the precinct to start their investigation. Hattie had stayed behind at the hospital, offering to keep Angela company until her mom could get there from upstate somewhere, Buffalo Hattie thought she had heard Angela say. Wherever she was driving in from she was scheduled to be there in less than two hours. “How long have you lived in the city?” Hattie asked. “Less than a year, I moved for grad school. My mom was always against the move and this isn’t going to help with her anxiety.” Angela sighed. “My mom was the same way when I moved, now two of her daughters live here.” Hattie smiled. “Where are you from?” Angela asked. “Hanover, Massachusetts.” Hattie replied. “I almost wish they hadn’t called her.” Angela sighed. “Your mom?” Hattie questioned. “Yeah. I love being in the city and have no interest in going home, she’s going to try to convince me to.” Angela replied. “Ultimately that’s your decision, she’ll see that.” Hattie reassured her. “Not without a guilt trip.” Angela huffed. “I don’t know your mom, but in my experience the mom is usually more concerned with her daughter than where she’s living.” Hattie smiled softly. “So you’re saying the gilt trip will come later.” Angela chuckled, despite slightly wincing. “Exactly.” Hattie smiled. “Thanks for staying with me.” Angela said. “It’s what I’m here for.” Hattie replied. “What made you become a victim advocate?” Angela asked. “I like helping people and worked at a rape crisis center while in college. I can’t imagine doing anything else.” Hattie shrugged. “So you’ve never been through this?” Angela questioned. “I didn’t say that, but your recovery isn’t about me. Everyone is different.” Hattie stated. “But still... I can ask questions?” Angela asked. “You can, about the recovery process, for help on processing things, suggestions of therapist or councilors... those kind of things.” Hattie smiled. “Ok...”Angela breathed.

“You just take over my desk now?” Hattie smirked when she got back to the station to find Barba sitting in her chair, flipping through the information the detectives had so far on Angela’s case. “I wanted to see if you could grab a late lunch and figured you’d show up at your desk eventually.” He smiled. “I could eat, I’ll let Liv know.” She said, shaking her head at the amused look Fin was giving the two of them as she made her way to Liv’s office.

“How’s Angela?” Barba asked as they walked out of the station. There was a little Greek place not far that they could easily walk to and service was always quick. “She’s in good spirits despite how beat up she is. She’s more concerned that her mother is going to try to get her to move home.” Hattie replied, smiling when he took her hand in his. “That’s good. The right mindset seems to help.” He stated, though his mind almost seemed to be elsewhere. “What’s the matter?” Hattie asked. “Is it that obvious I’m concerned about something?” He smirked. “It is to me.” She smiled. “It’s just the detectives seem to think she’s not telling them everything.” Barba sighed. “She’s not. My guess is she knows who attacked her but is too scared to say something.” Hattie said, her heart rate increasing when he put his arm around her waist as they squeezed through a particularly congested area of people, wondering if it would always do that. “Do you think you can get her to open up to you?” He asked, taking her hand in his again once the sidewalk opened up again. “I’ll try.” She smiled.

Hattie paused as they were entering the station. “What is it?” Barba asked. “Are you going in whether I do or not?” She asked. “Liv wanted to meet with me after we ate.” He replied. “Can you let Liv know I went back to the hospital? I want to check on Angela, see how she’s doing now that her moms been there a while.” Hattie stated. “I’ll tell Liv.” He assured her. “Thanks.” She said, pushing up to kiss him. “I’ll see you tonight then.” Barba smirked when she pulled back. “Tonight.” Hattie smiled.

“Hattie.” Angela stated as she entered the hospital room. “Is now a bad time? I just wanted to check on how things were going with your mom.” Hattie smiled. “There going pretty well actually. You were right about her being more concerned with how I’m doing than where I live. I don’t think she’ll even fight me on staying. She already mentioned that running home might not be the best thing for my emotional recovery.” Angela chuckled. “Mom’s always surprise you.” Hattie smiled. “She has been great. I’m really glad they called her, I don’t think I could go through this without her.” Angela said, speaking softly as she fiddled with her blanket. “Do you need anything? I can grab you guys something to eat if you want.” Hattie offered. “No, my mom is actually out getting food for us now.” Angela replied. “Ok, I’ll let you two have some time then. I just wanted to check how you were doing.” Hattie smiled before she started to leave. 

“Hattie...” Angela said. Hattie paused and turned back to her. “If I tell you something do you have to tell the detectives?” Angela asked. “If it’s pertinent to your case.” Hattie replied. “Oh...” Angela sighed. “I know you’re scared, but if you know who did this to you, you should tell them.” Hattie stated. “What happens if I say something and then he finds out?” Angela asked. “Did he threaten you?” Hattie questioned. Angela nodded. “The detectives can’t protect you from him if they don’t know who he is.” Hattie said. “Can they actually protect me?” Angela asked. “Better than if they don’t know who they’re protecting you from.” Hattie didn’t want to tell her they would definitely be able to keep her safe. This guy had beat her bad enough to put her in the hospital, so she could understand Angela’s apprehension. “Do you want me to tell the detectives who they’re looking for?” Hattie asked. “Yes,” Angela nodded, tears forming in he eyes, “his name is Henry Richardson, he’s a TA in the History department at school. I’ve seen him around a few times and we have a few mutual friends... I tend to be on campus late. He knew that. He told me that he’d find me again if I told anyone. I should have just kept my mouth shut...” “What do you mean by that?” Hattie asked, furrowing her brow. “I told him he was an idiot if he thought I was going to just ignore that he had raped me. That’s when he grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the wall. I don’t remember much after that, just waking up here.” Angela was back to fidgeting with the blanket. “I’ll tell the detectives and let them know he threatened you. They’ll set up a protection detail if they can’t hold him once they pick him up.” Hattie assured her. “Will you let me know what’s happening?” Angela asked as her mom reentered the hospital room caring a bag of food from a deli not far from the hospital. “I’ll swing by tomorrow, one of the detectives will let you know if they make an arrest.” Hattie stated.

Barba smirked from Hattie’s desk when she reentered the bullpen. “Really?” She teased. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” He smiled. “You didn’t think I’d be back.” Hattie chuckled. “That too.” Barba smirked. “I actually kind of like you at my desk.” She smiled. And she did, there was something about him sitting there, just like when she sat on the edge of his desk while waiting for the verdict on her trial, that had a familiarity to it. “How’s Angela?” Liv asked when she walked past them on her way to her office. “She’s scared. The guy, Henry Richardson, threatened her if she told anyone. He only beat her when she called his bluff.” Hattie stated, telling them exactly what Angela had told her happened. 

“I’ll had attempted murder to the charges.” Barba said, pulling out his phone to get an arrest warrant. Liv sent Rollins and Fin to do the actual arrest, while putting in a protective order for Angela and sending Carisi to the hospital to let her know they were arresting Henry. “I take it you’ll be late tonight?” Hattie said as she stood far too close to Barba for being in the middle of the bullpen. “Depends on how interrogation goes, even later if he lawyers up.” Barba sighed, running his hand through her hair. “I may hang out with Elliot for a bit then since Carisi will be busy too.” Hattie smiled. “Are you going to stay at your place tonight?” He asked, not really wanting her to, but understanding if she did. He couldn’t even begin to guess at what time he would get home, especially if he ended up needed to prep to arraign Henry the next day. “No, I may be asleep when you finally get home, but I’ll be in your bed.” Hattie smiled, pushing up to kiss him. “I’ll text when I head home.” He breathed as his arms loosened the hold they had subconsciously taken of her. “Ok.” She nodded, suddenly thankful for the mostly empty bullpen as she slowly pulled herself from him so she could gather her things to leave.


	15. Chapter 15

“Are you just pretending to live here so your shrink will think you’re not living with Rafael?” Elliot teased as she and Hattie drank a glass of wine on their couch. The trial had started and other than being emotional support for Angela in court and trial prep, Hattie hadn’t had much to do work wise. Barba on the other hand, had spent most evenings in his office. The only time they had seen each other, except for the lunch she would bring by his office, was when they woke up next to each other. “He’s so busy with work that I haven’t been able to see him much. I’ll take what I can get, even if it’s just us sleeping next to him.” Hattie sighed. Elliot smiled at Hattie but didn’t say anything. “What?” Hattie frowned. “Nothing, I’ve just never seen you like this.” Elliot smiled. “Like what?” Hattie questioned. “You just really like him.” Elliot smirked. Hattie exhaled and bit her lip, though a grin still formed on her face. “I really do.” She smiled. “God I hope I don’t look that sappy when I talk about the guy I’m seeing.” Elliot smiled, shaking her head. “You mean Carisi?” Hattie smirked. “I meant any guy I’ve ever dated but yes, currently Sonny.” Elliot chuckled. “We do look alike, and if I recall you were pretty gushy over Dave in high school.” Hattie said. “Oh god. What an asshole he turned out to be.” Elliot groaned.

Hattie almost pouted when she woke up alone in her own bed, and while she knew it was probably best that they didn’t just split living together over two apartments, she didn’t have to like it. “You slept here... alone.” Elliot chuckled when Hattie emerged to pour herself a cup of coffee. “Raf wasn’t going to be home until well after I went to bed and had planned on returning to the office at six this morning. I’m so ready for this trial to be over.” Hattie huffed. “You know I’ll survive living alone if you want to move in with him.” Elliot smirked. “My therapist thinks we should give that step a bit more time.” Hattie sighed. “Would you be happier living with him?” Elliot asked, raising a brow. “I’m happy.” Hattie smiled. “I know, but would you be happier if you lived with him?” Elliot smirked. “I just think it’d be easier.” Hattie breathed, lifting the coffee mug to her lips. “So move in with him.” Elliot chuckled. “It’s a little fast, don’t you think?” Hattie questioned. “Who cares,” Elliot shrugged, “I’ve never seen you like this and from what I’ve seen of the two of you together, he feels the same way.” “You’re more impulsive than I am.” Hattie sighed. “So... you overthink everything. If it makes you happy do it. You can always have your room back if it doesn’t work out or if you just want a night to yourself.” Elliot countered. “I’ll think about it.” Hattie said, smiling when Elliot rolled her eyes.

“Angela, you’re early?” Hattie smiled exiting Barba’s office as Angela and her mother hesitantly approached Carmen’s desk. She had brought lunch by but hadn’t even had the chance to set it out yet. “Mr. Barba asked me to call them in.” Carmen interjected. “Oh, will he mind if they wait in his office?” Hattie asked Carmen, not being sure how he felt about people in his office when he wasn’t there. “That shouldn’t be a problem.” Carmen smiled. “Working lunch?” Angela’s mom asked, noticing the bag on his round table. “It’s all there’s time for really.” Hattie replied vaguely. They weren’t a secret, but it still probably wasn’t the best idea for every victim to know they were together. 

“Great you are all here.” Barba said, closing the door behind him as he entered his office. “What’s happening? Did you want to prep for more questions?” Angela questioned, wringing her hands nervously. “Actually, they want to make a deal, but I wanted to run it by you before I took it.” Barba replied. “What are they asking for.” Angela asked. “It’s honestly just a matter of how much time he gets at this point. His lawyer knows the jury has already convicted him. I can probably get them to agree to twenty years instead of the twenty five he’d get if we finish with the trial.” Barba stated. “And that saves me from having to testify?” Angela asked. “It does.” Barba replied. “Take the deal then.” Angela nodded. “Are you sure? Twenty years somehow doesn’t seem enough for putting you in the hospital for a week.” Angela’s mother said softly. “Twenty years per count. That’s twenty for the rape and twenty for attempted murder.” Barba clarified. “Do it.” Angela nodded again. “Ok.” Barba said, glancing at Hattie and their lunch. “It’s just sandwiches.” Hattie smiled. “Right.” Barba stated, refocusing his thoughts on the task at hand, exiting his office to meet with defense attorney again.

“Do you think they’ll take the deal?” Angela asked, turning to Hattie. “We’ll find out soon enough.” Hattie replied, knowing Barba most likely was meeting with the defense in one of the small rooms between courtrooms on the first floor. “I hope so. I really don’t want to testify. I just want to start moving forward.” Angela sighed, taking a seat at the table. “Have you looked into any of the counselors I suggested?” Hattie asked. “I have, but I truthfully I don’t know what I’m looking for.” Angela said. “Personality wise Jena... sorry Jennifer Malone is the most like me, but they’re all good or I wouldn’t recommend them. You don’t have to commit right away. Make an introductory appointment and get a feel for them. Finding someone you’re comfortable talking to is an important step, once you get that out of the way you can work at opening up about what happened and working through it. It’s not going to happen overnight.” Hattie said. Angela nodded, something she felt she did a lot of lately. “Do you have an average of how long it will take?” “I wish. Everyone is different.” Hattie smiled.

They were still talking in Barba’s office when he returned. “So?” Angela asked, standing when he entered. “They took the plea. Twenty years per count.” Barba replied. “I guess I start healing now...” Angela exhaled and smiled. “We’ll call Dr. Malone first.” Her mother said, smiling at Hattie and thanking Barba. “Yes, thank you. Both of you.” Angela said, giving Hattie a hug before following her mother out of his office. “Still thank you made the right decision when you decided not to leave work?” Barba smiled, moving closer to Hattie. “I really can’t imagine doing anything else.” Hattie smiled. “You want to actually go out for lunch?” He asked, looking at the sad little sandwiches that had been sitting on his round table for close to an hour now. “You’re a nice little perk to the job, you know.” Hattie smirked, taking his hand. “Glad I can be a perk.” He chuckled.

Hattie hadn’t brought up living with Barba to him again, but she had stopped feeling guilty for not even bothering to go to her home anymore now that she knew her sister didn’t care. Once Barba finished with the paperwork for Angela’s trail things slowed back down to normal and Hattie had spent the last three weeks cuddling on his couch with him in the evenings either reading a book or watching movies. “SVU picked up a new case yesterday.” Hattie said, leaning into his side. “I know. Rollins already tried to get me to work on it.” Barba chuckled. “Yeah they are really unhappy with your substitute.” Hattie chuckled. “We’ll be back in a week, they’ll survive.” He smirked.

The next morning they woke early to catch the train to Boston. “This brings back memories.” Barba chuckled as they took their seats. “Did you take the Red Line from Boston to Cambridge?” Hattie smiled, taking his hand in hers. “I did,” he smirked, “how will we be getting to your parents?” “My mom is picking us up.” She replied, pulling a book from her bag. “I’ve actually never made this trip with someone.” Barba smiled, lifting the armrest so that it was no longer between them and pulled her so that he could read over her shoulder. It was roughly a four hour trip, so they would be arriving in Boston around one and her mom had planned to cook a late lunch or early dinner, depending on how you looked at it.

“Hattie! Over here.” A girl who looked as though couldn’t even be in her twenties called from the corner as they exited the train station. She had thick curly red hair and bright blue eyes and was eagerly waving at them as they headed her direction. “Is that another sister?” Barba questioned. “Frankie, the youngest.” Hattie smiled. “How young?” He questioned, seeming to have forgotten that Hattie mentioned she had recently graduated from high school. “She’s nineteen. Dylan just turned twenty two.” Hattie smiled as Barba furrowed his brow. “Elliot and I weren’t exactly planned, Dylan and Frankie were.” Hattie continued, chuckling at the confusion still present on his face when they reached her moms car. 

“He’s older than I expected.” Frankie grinned, eyeing Barba up and down. “And your twelve...” Hattie huffed, pushing her sister toward the front seat so she could sit in the back with Barba. “Hey mom.” She smiled once they climbed in. “Hi honey.” Her mom smiled back, glancing at Barba. “This is Rafael, Rafael this is my mom, Carol and my sister, Frankie.” Hattie said, deciding to actually introducing him to her sister. “It’s nice to meet you.” Barba smiled, noticing that Frankie looked almost exactly like her mother, a woman that logically he knew had to be older than him, but didn’t exactly appear to be. Good genes maybe... at least he hoped. He was distracted from his thoughts when Hattie started pointing out her high school and other places once they got closer to her parents home.

“You two go get settled in and I’ll start dinner.” Carol smiled, as Barba took Hattie’s bag from her and they headed toward the house. “Nice house.” He smirked while he followed her up the steps to the room she used to share with Elliot. It was a nice house, six bedrooms, four baths, and set back a bit from the cliff overlooking the river so that they’d had a backyard growing up. “My dad started a small landscaping company after Elliot and I were born. It’s done really well over the years.” Hattie smiled, opening the door to her old room and plopping her bag on her bed. Barba set his on Elliots and smiled as he took in the room that clearly had had two different personalities decorate it. Elliot’s side was much darker with deep blues and greens, while Hattie’s had lots of white and light lilacs. “Does Dylan have red hair too?” He asked moving closer to Hattie. “No, her hair is the same color as mine and Elliot’s. We look more like our father.” Hattie smiled, pulling him to her lips. “What are you smiling about?” Barba asked once their lips parted. “I’ve never done that in here.” Hattie chuckled. “I’m the first boy in your bedroom?” He smirked. “For me,” Hattie chuckled, “I can’t say the same for Elliot.”

“Where’s dad?” Hattie asked as she and Barba joined her family in the dining room. Carol glanced into the living room, muttering something under breath before speaking, “Frankie go get your father.” “So this is Rafael?” Dylan smiled, holding her hand out to him as she got closer. “I am and you’re Dylan I assume.” He replied, shaking it. “You know she’s never brought someone here before, Elliot, yes... but not Hattie.” Dylan grinned. “She’s mentioned that.” He smirked, noticing Dylan stifle a chuckle. “Will you stop trying to make him uncomfortable?” Hattie huffed. “Take a seat and leave your sister’s boyfriend alone.” Carol scolded, shoeing Dylan to her seat at the table as she set the food she had prepared in the middle. Hattie guided Barba to sit next to her in what would normally be Elliot’s seat.

Daniel, her father, seemed disgruntled as he took his seat at the opposite end of the table from his wife. “Hi dad.” Hattie smiled. “Hi sweetheart.” He replied. “This is Rafael. Rafael, this is my dad, Dan.” Hattie added introducing them. “It’s nice to meet you.” Barba smiled. “What is it you do again?” Dan grumbled. “I’m a prosecutor for the city of Manhattan’s DA office.” Barba replied, realizing he was the reason her dad was unhappy. “And how old are you?” Dan huffed. “What does that matter?” Hattie snapped. “He just seems closer to my age than yours.” Dan stated, staring directly at his oldest daughter... even if it was only by three minutes. “It’s not my fault you had us at sixteen. Hell, anyone older than me by eight years is closer to your age than mine.” Hattie huffed. “You know I expect this from Elliot, but not...” Dan trailed off so Hattie continued for him. “But not me?” “You’re the sensible one.” Her dad sighed, ignoring his other two daughters who were pretending to be offended. “And what makes you think I’m not being sensible?” Hattie questioned. “I just expected someone closer to your age.” Dan muttered. “He’s forty, I’m thirty one, and I’ve known him for over two years. I promise I am being pragmatic. So why don’t you give me some credit for not being more like Elliot and actually get to know Rafael before you make your mind up about us.” Hattie chastised.

Dan look around the table. At his wife and daughters who were all looking at him, waiting for him to say something and sighed. “So Rafael, you’re a prosecutor?” “Yes, I work closely with Manhattan SVU.” Barba replied. “Where’d you go to law school?” Carol asked, trying to move the conversation along and get the two of them talking. “Harvard.” Barba replied. “So you’re familiar with the area?” Frankie questioned. “Not really, I’ve always relied on public transportation to get around. I pretty much lived on or close to campus when I was here.” Barba replied. “You didn’t have a car while in college?” Dylan asked, clearly perplexed by this notion. “I had friends with cars.” Barba smirked. “Ever been married?” Dan muttered. “Dad!” Hattie barked. “I haven’t.” Barba answered. “Do you have kids?” Dan asked. “No.” Barba replied before Hattie got a chance to yell at her father again. “Does it even matter to you that I’m happy?” Hattie snapped before standing to leave the table. Barba awkwardly glanced around the table. “I’ll talk to her.” He smiled as he started to get up. “No, I will...” Dan sighed, following his daughter to her room.

“Hattie?” Dan said, softly knocking on her door. “Harriett Danielle Stevens, if you’re going to act like a child, I will treat you like one.” He huffed when she didn’t answer. “Did you ever think I was acting like a child, because you were already treating me like one.” Hattie muttered as she let him in. “You are my child.” He smiled. “Is it really the age thing or would you be like this no matter who I brought home?” She sighed as she plopped down on her bed. “You’ve never brought a boy... jesus... a man home.” Dan sighed, sitting next to her. “Elliot has, Dylan has, hell even Frankie has.” Hattie countered. “Yeah but you’re different.” Dan smiled. “So is he.” Hattie said, not being able to stop the stupid grin that took over her face. “Jesus, it’s even worse than I thought.” Her dad chuckled. “Shut up.” Hattie smirked, smacking him on the arm. “He’s a good guy?” Dan asked, looking at her. “He’s the best guy.” Hattie smiled. “Fine, I’ll be nice.” Dan smirked. “Not only nice. Now you have to spend the remainder of the week convincing him you like him.” Hattie grinned. “He’s hard working?” Dan smiled. “He works too hard.” She sighed. “Fine, I’ll play nice.” He chuckled.

“Dinner was interesting.” Barba grumbled once they were back in her room. “My dad will come around.” Hattie sighed. “He was much better once you two came back to the table.” He smiled, wrapping his arm around her. “He’s just set me to a higher standard than my sisters... or maybe I’ve done that to myself.” Hattie sighed. “They’ve really never met anyone you’ve dated?” Barba smirked. “No.” She smiled, resting her head against his chest. “Didn’t you live at home while you dated that Tanner guy in college?” He asked. “I did.” Hattie said, looking up at him. “And you’re parents never met him?” He asked. “Nope.” She smiled. “Why not?” He pushed. “I don’t know...” she shrugged, “I guess I didn’t want to and we were only twenty so it’s not like he asked.” “So this is your favorite spot in the whole world?” He smirked, changing the subject. “Close. I’ll take you there tomorrow.” Hattie grinned. “Oh, we’re going on an adventure then.” Barba chuckled. “Yes, so we should get to bed early.” Hattie smiled. “You’re serious?” He said when she pulled away and started to change into her pajamas. “I am, and wear these.” She replied, pulling out a long sleeve shirt and pajama pants for him. “It’s June.” He stated furrowing his brow. “Just wear them.” She smirked, slipping into her own long sleeve shirt.

Hattie hadn’t even set an alarm. She knew she wouldn’t need to, she always woke at seven at her parents house. “Raf... wake up.” She whispered, pushing on his shoulder. “What time is it?” Barba grumbled. “Seven. Come on, I want to show you something.” She smiled, tugging at him to get out of bed. “Can you show me at eight?” He muttered, trying to turn over. “It wont be the same at eight. Come on, get up.” Hattie coaxed. “Fine.” He sighed, pulling himself to sit. Hattie grabbed a blanket off the end of her bed and took his hand in hers, dragging him behind her. “Can’t I change first?” Barba huffed as she dragged him down the hall. “Shhhh... I don’t want to wake anyone.” She whispered. “I’m not included in anyone.” He smirked. Hattie rolled her eyes and guided him out the back door. “Where are we going?” Barba asked as they approached the edge of the cliff that ran along the river. “To my favorite spot.” Hattie smiled, stepping out on the landing leading down the stairs lining the cliff edge to the pier and boat house. “I’m not exactly a fan of heights.” He grumbled as they worked their way down the stairs. “You’ll live.” Hattie smiled.

“Why are we still in our pajamas?” Barba huffed as they reached the pier. “Because I like to get out here as soon as possible.” Hattie smiled, pulling him to sit next to her as she leaned against the boat house. “This is your favorite place in the world?” He smiled as she covered them with the blanket she had brought. “It is.” She grinned, closing her eyes as the cool morning breeze picked up and shifted her hair slightly. “God, I love you.” Barba smirked, almost not realizing he had spoken out loud. “You love me?” Hattie had opened her eyes again and was looking directly in Barba’s eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as his eye’s bounced between hers. “Yes, I love you.” “Good,” she smiled, pulling him toward her lips, “I love you too.”


	16. Chapter 16

Barba woke to find the twin bed across the room from him empty. He smiled when he realized where Hattie was and climbed out of bed.

“Morning Rafael.” Dan said, handing him a cup for coffee.

“Morning.” Barba replied, taking the cup from him. “Would Hattie take coffee with her to the boat house?”

“No, but she’ll appreciate it if you bring her some.” Dan smiled handing him another cup and a thermos.

“Are you sure? This will take the whole pot.”

“I can make more coffee.” Dan chuckled.

Barba smiled and filled the thermos and gathered a few sugar packets Hattie’s mom kept by the coffee maker.

“For you or Hattie?” Dan asked.

“Hattie. I drink mine black.”

“She really cares for you.”

“I know I’m not your favorite person, but I do love your daughter.” Barba said.

“It honestly has nothing to do with you... or your age. No one would be good enough for her, but the fact that she’s brought you here... that she thinks highly of you...” Dan sighed, “I’ll work on excepting she was going to find someone eventually. I do want her to be happy.”

“You aren’t as overprotective of your other daughters?” Barba smiled.

“They’ve already broken my spirit.” Dan chuckled.

“I should take this to her before she heads back up.” Barba said, holding up the thermos of coffee.

“Tell her her mom wants to do lunch around twelve thirty.”

Barba nodded and headed out the back door towards the steps lining the cliff edge. He avoided looking down as he made his way to the pier and rounded the boat house to find Hattie curled up under a blanket.

“You chatted with my dad.” Hattie smiled, pulling the blanket back so he could join her.

“What gave it away?”

“That’s the thermos he uses for work.”

Barba poured them each a cup of coffee and handed her the sugar packets he brought down in his pocket. “You come out here every morning?”

“I do.” Hattie smiled, continuing to gaze down the river.

“Your dad said your mom wanted to do lunch around twelve thirty.”

“What time is it?”

“Eight thirty.”

“Plenty of time then. Was my dad nice to you?”

“He was. I have to admit I expected your parents to be a bit older.” Barba said, smiling when she seemed amused.

“Yeah, I don’t usually advertise that my parents had Elliot and me at sixteen.” Hattie chuckled. “It worked out for them, they were lucky. Most teen parents don’t fair so well.”

“You could have warned me that they’d only be seven years older than me.”

“I could have...” Hattie grinned.

“You enjoy getting a reaction out of people.” There was a hint of a smile as he rolled his eyes.

“If I had known my dad was going to react the way he did I would have warned you.”

“How will your dad feel if he ever meets Carisi?”

“Elliots broken so many hearts he would barely even acknowledge Carisi until he lasted longer than a year, and at that point he’d probably be impressed he held on to her that long.”

Barba was quiet for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee as he thought about what she said. “Will your sister break Carisi’s heart?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t mean it like she did it on purpose. She’s had her heart broken plenty as well. We’re just different. She’s more forward than I am and has never shied away if she was interested in someone. I only meant that she had dated more than I had and she never cared about bringing them around my parents. When I dated I kept it more to myself, no one was good enough to bring home.” Hattie smiled. “Why, were you worried Carisi might get hurt?” 

“No... I just didn’t want to hear him whine about her.” Barba smirked.

“Sure...” Hattie teased. “I wouldn’t have helped introduce them if I thought she’d purposely hurt him or even unintentionally hurt him. She has normal relationships, it’s just none have stuck yet. Carisi’s a big boy, they can manage whether they work together or not out for themselves.”

“I’m good enough to bring home?” Barba asked, the corners of his lips turning up.

“Yes, you are. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known.” Hattie was serious when she spoke, all of her attention turned on him.

“I’ve got plenty of faults.” He said dismissively.

“Everyone does, but that doesn’t make you less amazing. I’ve thought that for years just watching you at work and how you’ve grown when it comes to working with victims. That night we told each other how we felt at the bar... I practically skipped up the stairs.” Barba squeezed her hand, the memory of how that night ended creeping into his thoughts. “And after everything we’ve been through... you never once made me feel like you wanted something easier.”

“That’s because I didn’t want something easier, I want you.” He smiled, pulling her lips to his.

After a moment, Hattie pulled back from the embrace and looked at him. “It validated everything I thought I knew. Every reason I had for liking you, for loving you. So yes, I think you’re amazing, faults and all.”

“You know you’re my favorite person.” Barba smiled, pulling her closer.

“That’s not saying much, you don’t like many people.” Hattie chuckled.

“It’s saying everything, because I don’t like many people.” He grinned.

Hattie gave him a playful push and then leaned into his side.

“You never told your parents?”

“About what happened to me?” She asked, shifting slightly under his arm.

“Yes.”

“No. I don’t want them to know, to look at me different. I know they wouldn’t mean to, but I like that when I come home everything is the same. I need that. I’m not a victim here.”

“Wouldn’t you, at this point, tell a victim they were a survivor?” Barba smirked, knowing she would find his use of her own words amusing.

“Probably long before now.” Hattie smiled and shook her head. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being you.” She smirked.

Barba chuckled and kissed her again, his hand cupping her cheek as he pulled her closer.

“You know,” Hattie smiled, pulling herself onto his lap so she straddled his thighs, “Elliot thinks we should just admit we live together.”

“And let me guess, you think her suggestion is too impulsive?” Barba smirked, at least until she kissed him again.

“Part of me does and part of me doesn’t.” Hattie said between kisses.

“Hattie I hate to break it to you, but we live together.”

“I know.” She smiled grinding her groin against his.

Barba groaned against her lips when she did it again and placed his hands on her hips to still her.

“Hattie...” his voice was strained and she smiled when she sat back to look at him, “I know this is your favorite place, but there are houses over looking the cliff edges, the river, and by extension us.”

“What time is it?”

“Nine fifteen, why?” Barba questioned, furrowing his brow.

Hattie grinned and stood, pulling him behind her and into the boat house.

“What are you doing?” Barba scolded when she started up the ladder leading to a small loft area her parents used for storage.

“You didn’t want to be seen.” Hattie smiled, finishing the climb to the loft.

Barba tossed her the blanket and followed, sitting so that his back was to a wall, kissing her when she straddled his thighs again.

“What if someone comes down here.” Barba panted when she tugged his pants down.

“We should be quick then.” Hattie smiled, standing to remove her clothing from the waist down.

“You couldn’t have just told me they wouldn’t.” He huffed when she straddled him again.

“Rafael...”

“Yes.”

“Stop talking.” She smiled and kissed him, sinking herself down on him.

“Fine.” He smirked, pulling the blanket up over her as she rode him.

His hands ran under her shirt, cupping her breast, his thumbs grazing her nipples, as her hands ran through his hair, her lips pressing against his, their mouths absorbing the others moans. Hattie broke contact briefly to remove her shirt, the only thing left covering her was the blanket that slipped down her hips.

The boat house contained a few walls, but was mostly open below the loft level. It had two large open spaces, one for the boat to enter and another along the side opposite the main pier that Hattie and her sisters jumped into he river from. There wasn’t a door blocking the opening from the main pier side either, but the space was smaller, only the size of a doorframe. This allowed for the same breeze Hattie loved when she sat on the pier to flow through and up to the loft. When the wind kicked up and the breeze found the two of them, Hattie felt it circle her upper body and she arched into it. Her body tightened around him as she collapsed against Barba’s chest.

“I love you.” She panted into his shoulder.

“I love you too.” He smiled, running his fingers through her hair as she caught her breath. He laid the blanket next to them and rotated her so she was beneath him.

“You really should be quick.” She grinned as he started to thrust.

Barba rolled his eyes but smiled, forcing his mind to focus on her and not the thought of someone interrupting them. Soon he was grunting his own release, kissing her deeply as his body tensed against hers.

“So you’ll change your address?” He chuckled, lifting up to look at her.

“I’ll change my address.” Hattie smiled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really torn on whether to end this story here or keep picking at it... I’m really not ready to let Hattie go yet, but this feels like a nice ending to this particular story arc... if I’m being honest, so did the last chapter...
> 
> I’m going to leave it as unfinished for now with the intention of slowly picking at it, but if I do come up with a new arc I’ll close this one and start a part two... I don’t have a clue what part two would be so that may never happen... which is why I’m not closing it... I really like Hattie. 
> 
> Either way, it may be a while for an update, but I’m not done with these two.


End file.
